Monday, May 12, 2008

I will best her yet...

I am a girly girl. Being a princess, I have to be a girly girl. And acting as the aforementioned girly girl, I like sparkly jewelry. But, honestly, my motto is less is more. I like sparkles, yes, but tack, no. Hence my engagement ring is deco aquamarine with four tiny, eensie weensie diamonds. It's classy, it's demure. Like me, classy and demure. Shut up.
Well, see, there's this lady in my office. She works in the billing department. She's one of those people who MUST wear designer clothes, who, when she buys a Razr cell phone, buys the Dolce & Gabanna Razr cell phone that says "Dolce and Gabanna" in a sexy, sultry voice when it turns on. It's gold and cost $500. I'm sure it also whipers sweet nothings in your ear instead of ringing when you're calling someone.
Anyhoo, she's been engaged to this dude for a few months now. Hasn't had a ring yet. Until today. No, today, she's sporting some 10-karat monstrosity, going around the office, saying "Look, I'm engaged, oh look at my ring, I"m engaged now". Like she hasn't been engaged but ringless for the past few months.
Always has to outdo everyone, doesn't she? Makes fun of my Target bags, my co-worker's home-done haircut.
Yeah, well, I've had it. I've decided to have my wedding band smelted out of the iron extracted from the blood of a thousand virgins, and we'll have a sacrificial alter at out wedding.
See if you can outdo that, beyotch.