Saturday, January 31, 2009

Stop! Geeky time...

I'm always on the lookout for new ways to geekify my home. Here are three versions of math clocks. The first one, I actually already at one point owned...I'd made my own version back in college, but it got broken during one of my many moves.

Both the clock above (the radian clock) and the clock below (the pi clock) can be found here for $14.00 each.

This clock, my favorite one, was available here, but it sold out on Thursday this past week.

Friday, January 30, 2009

So cute I wanna pee...

I love small animals. I think they're the bee's knees. Today, on Neatorama, I was introduced to the pygmy marmoset. How much do you wanna bet there's some remote village out there where people eat these little darlings?

I mean, holy crap on a cracker, how CUTE are they? Hey, BF!! These! These are what I want for Valentine's Day.

Also eensy-weensy is this snake, the world's smallest, found in Barbados.
And these...other animals. Teeny tiny, right?

And this lizard, also the world's smallest.

Honestly, my personal opinion is for minute mammals, but the cold-blooded pygmies are adorable, too, in their own, scaly way.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Where is Where is Bob?

Dear Where is Bob?,

Where have you been, Where is Bob?? You were the funniest blog out there. I checked your RSS feed every single day to see what Bob has been up to in Where is Bob? world. But I'm starting to feel neglected. You haven't posted since late October. And yes, while I understand that you work in an office (or so you claim), your last post was subtitled (Part I) so I can only ASSUME you had a part 2 in the works. Am I wrong, Where is Bob?? I know you've been lurking. I left a similar message on your comment thread, and saw that it had been deleted a week later. Why have you forsaken me? Or us, your loyal readers. I don't want to cancel my RSS feed, because I'm afraid if I do, that's when you'll start writing again, and bringing tales of hilarity to office workers worldwide, and I'll be left out because I'd given up on you, Where is Bob?. I hope, from the cockles of my heart, that it doesn't come to that, Where is Bob?.

Please, please, Where is Bob?, please come back to us.


Oh, you witty vandals

Cary over at List of the Day posted some funny-ass graffiti (or funny ass-graffiti, if it suits you). My favorite is the stop sign.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Yay! Presents!

Today when I got home, there was a package waiting at the door from me. It was from my sister Carrie out in Portland. These are the Chronicles of Opening The Package from Carrie.

Here's me when I saw the package. I was very excited.

The first treat inside is a guide to Portland, Oregon. She's obviously trying to entice me out there with promises of a "Wax On Spa", whose motto is "Save a tree. Eat a Beaver", which is wrong on so many different levels, I can't even begin to describe, but enticing nonetheless.

Here are pics of Carrie and her dashing ladyfriend Davina. Do you see the flan? Who doesn't love flan? I certainly love me some flan.

Here's Carrie and I in Chinatown with our other sister, Darcy. We were checking out these sandles with wooden nubbies all over the soles. Tres chic, non?

And, obviously, Carrie knows the keys to my heart: bacon and chocolate. So what could be better than bacon-flavored chocolate?

Here is some dark chocolate from Mexico. I think chocolate is best enjoyed dark. The darker the better, I say. I can't stand that white chocolate shit. It's not even chocolate, it's just coco butter. Ew.

I can't decide whether I should eat this chocolate or put it on a shelf. It's handmade, and looks like it's been dusted with gold leaf. The back says: "Carnassier: Maple caramelized smoked bacon, in bittersweet chocolate, sweet smoky depth from the bacon, earthy warmth from hand harvested maple syrup." YUUUUUUMMMMMMMM.

And she sent me two, TWO, of these Mo's Bacon Bars. Applewood smoked bacon, alderwood smoked salt and deep milk chocolate. I fully intend to be in a bacon-chocolate induced coma this coming weekend. If you call and I don't answer, be not alarmed, for the bacon has ravished me.

And finally, here are some really cute cards, made by artist Jennifer Utley. How cute are these? I knew my toys did weird things while I wasn't looking.

Sigh. There's nothing better than getting a lurve package in the mail. That was an extremely satisfying end to my day. Thanks Carrie! You're the bestest! I hope I can come to Portland soon and eat some beaver so I can save some trees. And do other stuff, like pick mushrooms in the forest.

Monday Earworm


Now, there's nothing I love more than a humorous mathematics t-shirt, like this one, from Snorg Tees. Get real (tee hee).
Anyhoo, I am a subscriber to Mental_Floss's broadcast email, and they recently sent out a little blurb about their recent t-shirt contest, where people could send in suggestions for new t-shirts. They made a big deal about how people shouldn't sent in suggestions such as "they have this t-shirt over at snorg tees that would be PERFECT for mental_floss" and Mental_Floss is all, "uh, no, that wouldn't be legal" and all.

Then, they unveiled their new t-shirts. This is one of them:
Which, believe me, is kinda funny, except for the fact that that's the quadratic formula, NOT a derivative, unless they're referring to derivations of formulae, which I don't believe they are. And then...AND THEN...I see this on snorg tees this morning:
which, in my opinion, is much more accurate than Mental-Floss's version. Don't get me wrong, I love me some Mental-Floss, but really Mental_Floss, who's calling the i imaginary in this one, huh?

Sunday, January 25, 2009

The laws of attraction

Magnetic Attraction

Score: 80% (8 out of 10)

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Saturday Night Craving

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Tomatoes and garlic

About a week and a half ago, I was prepping a bunch of garlic cloves for roasting when I noticed that many of them had started growing roots and had shoots pushing out. Instead of trimming them, I decided to plant them in a spare window box I had. I also had some rotten tomatoes in the fridge, and squeezed the tomato innards into the dirt as well. About three days later, this is what I had:

And now, a week and a half later, this is what I have:

Lazy Days

Last night, prior to a meetup I attend biweeky, I met one of the other meetupers at a restaurant for dinner. Home on 8th was supposed to be this great little chinese place, and I ordered the chili-salted calamari. Today, I have food poisoning. Yay! So I'm home, chained to my bathroom, and my animals are fully enjoying the company.

Here we see Chica watching tv. When there's fish, birds, or bugs on the screen, she attacks it. Otherwise, she sits about an inch away and watches.

Here's Coconut chilling on a philadendron vine. He's pretending to be a leaf, while screaming "Pretty Bird!", "Hey Coconuuuuuuut" and "AAAAAAHHHHHH".

And here we see Baby, completely passed out on the couch.

Wouldn't it be nice to have this life?

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Tuesday Afternoon Pet Peeve

People who want to talk about something private in front of you, but don't want you to overhear, so instead of finding themselves somewhere ELSE to talk, they just speak in another language right in front of your desk.

DUDE! That's RUDE. Didn't your mama teach you anything?

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Polar opposites

In earlier posts, I spoke of polymer clay artists whom I greatly admire. This artist, however, is not one of them. Thanks to Craftastrophe for pointing me towards this...piece.
From Craftastrophe about this piece:

Can I just say that her pouty pee-pee sucker lips got me a little freaked out.

And her hair? What is with the hair? Are those seams from her grown out weave?

I especially like that the resin in which the mermaid is swimming has dripped over the side of the frame. Nothing like a messy mermaid, eh?

Now, don't get me wrong. I post my own artwork on the internet, and I think it would probably hurt my feelings if someone said mean stuff about it, but I would never describe my own artwork thusly: "A beautiful orange and teal green mermaid drifts lazily through shallow waters. A singular gold fish follows her, hoping to discover some secret treasures…"

Saturday, January 17, 2009

More amazing sculptures

These are a couple other artists I watch on ebay. Not that I ever buy any of their stuff, 'cause I'm broke and all, but I like to see what some people are capable of.
This piece is a water fairy by Fairies and Dreams. If you click on the pic, you can see how the fake water splashes up and beads on her legs.
And this one is by Dea Venustus. I love this piece. Even if you click on this pic, you can't see how beautifully sculpted the face is.

I covet talent like this. I can only hope that I'm as good at what I do as they are at what they do. Yes, I can draw a mean testicle, but would people buy it on ebay?

Friday, January 16, 2009

Friday Afternoon Motto (or, Motto Of The Week)

Give Credit Where Credit's Due.

I wish I were this talented

These are amazing sculptures made of polymer clay by artist Nicole West. Polymer clay is actually manipulatable plastic that can be "fired" or cured in a toaster oven. Her pieces are usually 12 - 16 inches in height and are hand crafted without the use of molds. I am always so incredibly impressed by the amount of intricate detail she puts into each piece. The hair is usually tibetin lamb's wool, which is really soft.

These pieces are, in the order they've been posted, "Frost Queen", "Candy Girl" and "Titania, Harvest Queen". She sells them on ebay, but you've got to be willing to shell out some serious cash for them; they usually go for around a grand apiece.


Last night, for absolutely no reason, a poem that I had memorized in high school came back to me. I remember being fascinated by the contradictions in the poem. I thought I'd share.

Early one morning
In the middle of the night
Two dead boys
Got up to fight
Back to back
They faced each other
Pulled their swords
And shot each other
A deaf policeman
Heard the noise
And came and rescued
Those two dead boys

Hey, man, to a fifteen year old, that poem is AWESOME.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Just because I know vocabulary...

...doesn't mean I know how to cook.

Mental_Floss had a quiz today on cooking techniques. I got 100%. Because I am an awesome genius, duh. Click on the link below to try it for yourself.

Name that Cooking Technique

Score: 100% (10 out of 10)

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Repetition without Definition

I keep talking about this top 100 English Language books of the 20th century. In case anyone's curious, here it is (and by the way, my friends keep asking. It comes from RANDOM HOUSE):

*I bolded the ones I've read, and honestly, it's kind of embarrassing, the low number of the ones I've read, and the majority of those I read in high school English class. I put a * next to the ones I read on my own. Not that it matters.

1. (1922) Ulysses James Joyce
2. (1925) The Great Gatsby F. Scott Fitzgerald
3. (1916) A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man James Joyce
4. (1955) Lolita Vladimir Nabokov

5. (1932) Brave New World Aldous Huxley
6. (1929) The Sound and the Fury William Faulkner
7. (1961) Catch-22 Joseph Heller
8. (1940) Darkness at Noon Arthur Koestler
9. (1913) Sons and Lovers D. H. Lawrence
10. (1939) The Grapes of Wrath John Steinbeck
11. (1947) Under the Volcano Malcolm Lowry
12. (1903) The Way of All Flesh Samuel Butler
13. (1949) Nineteen Eighty-Four George Orwell *
14. (1934) I, Claudius Robert Graves
15. (1927) To the Lighthouse Virginia Woolf
16. (1925) An American Tragedy Theodore Dreiser
17. (1940) The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter Carson McCullers
18. (1969) Slaughterhouse-Five Kurt Vonnegut
19. (1952) Invisible Man Ralph Ellison
20. (1940) Native Son Richard Wright
21. (1959) Henderson the Rain King Saul Bellow
22. (1934) Appointment in Samarra John O'Hara
23. (1938) U.S.A. (trilogy) John Dos Passos
24. (1919) Winesburg, Ohio Sherwood Anderson
25. (1924) A Passage to India E. M. Forster
26. (1902) The Wings of the Dove Henry James
27. (1903) The Ambassadors Henry James
28. (1934) Tender Is the Night F. Scott Fitzgerald
29. (1935) Studs Lonigan (trilogy) James T. Farrell
30. (1915) The Good Soldier Ford Madox Ford
31. (1945) Animal Farm George Orwell
32. (1904) The Golden Bowl Henry James
33. (1900) Sister Carrie Theodore Dreiser
34. (1934) A Handful of Dust Evelyn Waugh
35. (1930) As I Lay Dying William Faulkner
36. (1946) All the King's Men Robert Penn Warren
37. (1927) The Bridge of San Luis Rey Thornton Wilder
38. (1910) Howards End E. M. Forster
39. (1953) Go Tell It on the Mountain James Baldwin
40. (1948) The Heart of the Matter Graham Greene
41. (1954) Lord of the Flies William Golding
42. (1970) Deliverance James Dickey
43. (1951-1975) A Dance to the Music of Time (series) Anthony Powell
44. (1928) Point Counter Point Aldous Huxley
45. (1926) The Sun Also Rises Ernest Hemingway
46. (1907) The Secret Agent Joseph Conrad
47. (1904) Nostromo Joseph Conrad
48. (1915) The Rainbow D. H. Lawrence
49. (1920) Women in Love D. H. Lawrence
50. (1934) Tropic of Cancer Henry Miller
51. (1948) The Naked and the Dead Norman Mailer
52. (1969) Portnoy's Complaint Philip Roth
53. (1962) Pale Fire Vladimir Nabokov
54. (1932) Light in August William Faulkner
55. (1957) On the Road Jack Kerouac
56. (1930) The Maltese Falcon Dashiell Hammett
57. (1924-1928) Parade's End Ford Madox Ford
58. (1920) The Age of Innocence Edith Wharton
59. (1911) Zuleika Dobson Max Beerbohm
60. (1961) The Moviegoer Walker Percy
61. (1927) Death Comes for the Archbishop Willa Cather
62. (1951) From Here to Eternity James Jones
63. (1957) The Wapshot Chronicle John Cheever
64. (1951) The Catcher in the Rye J. D. Salinger *
65. (1962) A Clockwork Orange Anthony Burgess
66. (1915) Of Human Bondage W. Somerset Maugham
67. (1902) Heart of Darkness Joseph Conrad
68. (1920) Main Street Sinclair Lewis
69. (1905) The House of Mirth Edith Wharton
70. (1957-1960) The Alexandria Quartet Lawrence Durrell
71. (1929) A High Wind in Jamaica Richard Hughes
72. (1961) A House for Mr Biswas V. S. Naipaul
73. (1939) The Day of the Locust Nathanael West
74. (1929) A Farewell to Arms Ernest Hemingway
75. (1938) Scoop Evelyn Waugh
76. (1962) The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie Muriel Spark
77. (1939) Finnegans Wake James Joyce
78. (1901) Kim Rudyard Kipling
79. (1908) A Room with a View E. M. Forster
80. (1945) Brideshead Revisited Evelyn Waugh
81. (1953) The Adventures of Augie March Saul Bellow
82. (1971) Angle of Repose Wallace Stegner
83. (1979) A Bend in the River V. S. Naipaul
84. (1938) The Death of the Heart Elizabeth Bowen
85. (1900) Lord Jim Joseph Conrad
86. (1975) Ragtime E. L. Doctorow
87. (1908) The Old Wives' Tale Arnold Bennett
88. (1903) The Call of the Wild Jack London
89. (1945) Loving Henry Green
90. (1980) Midnight's Children Salman Rushdie
91. (1932) Tobacco Road Erskine Caldwell
92. (1983) Ironweed William Kennedy
93. (1965) The Magus John Fowles
94. (1966) Wide Sargasso Sea Jean Rhys
95. (1954) Under the Net Iris Murdoch
96. (1979) Sophie's Choice William Styron
97. (1949) The Sheltering Sky Paul Bowles
98. (1934) The Postman Always Rings Twice James M. Cain
99. (1955) The Ginger Man J. P. Donleavy
100. (1918) The Magnificent Ambersons Booth Tarkington

Boy. I'm feeling rather unintelligent right now. I must rectify that.

Disappointed? Well...

As I mentioned in a previous post, reading books off of Time's 100 best English Language books is one of my New Years resolutions. The Catcher in the Rye is number 64 or 65, I don't remember which. What were my preconceptions going in? I don't know. Something shocking, certainly. For some reason, murder, probably because the only references to the book I'd heard before were in regards to a serial killer. Was I shocked? No. Was there murder? No. Was there suspense? No. Well, shit. It's about a pricky little douche who's just been expelled, yet again, from a prep school. I've since learned its controversy is in the use of the words"fuck" and "goddam", as well as a prostitution scene (in which no sex takes place), smoking, drinking, and rebellion. And I suppose for the time in which it was written, it was shocking, all things considered, but should it remain the center of such controversy? I think not. Sure, it's an all right book. I see why my high school English teachers taught Brave New World (also on the top 100 list) and Animal Farm (ditto), and not The Catcher in the Rye. Sure, I'm glad I read it.

Meh...whatever. It's not on my top 100 list.

Next up...Catch 22.

A lesson in tact

Say what you want about me, but compared to some of the other secretaries I have to talk to on a regular basis, I'm a goddamn cupcake.

Me: I tried to email Dr. S, but the email bounced back.

Secretary: What's the email address you have?

Me: **@**.edu

Secretary: heh heh, WRONG!

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Many varied shades of wrong

So, I've been on this whole crafting binge lately, and

I've discovered this website that I absolutely love. It's called Craftastrophe, and shows crafts that have gone horribly wrong. This morning they posted about these great dolly-pedes, which are so creepy, but for some reason I can't stop staring at them.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Now I feel bad for my childhood longing to be a roustabout...

These are the best and worst jobs, as determined by Sarah Needleman of the Wall Street Journal. And I use the term "jobs" lightly. Really? Being a philospher is the twelfth best job? And what exactly does that job entail? Sitting around thinking about stuff? Who pays people for that?

My favorite entry, however, is #193: Roustabout. I just like the way that sounds: roustabout. Like someone whose job it is to be mischevous. Yes, I know it's a deckhand (I looked it up), but I still think it's a cool job title.
I was also kind of surprised that Lumberjack did so poorly, especially after Monty Python gave it such a glowing review.

Whatever. I was amused. It's a slow morning.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

I resolve...

Typically, I don’t do New Years resolutions, because I know myself, and why make resolutions when, if I’m honest with myself, I’m not going to keep. Well, I’ve been making a lot of changes in my life. I’ve well into DBT therapy, I’m taking better care of myself, and I figured if I can do all of that, why can’t I keep some resolutions this year? I’d just make resolutions I know I can keep, right?

Well, here’s what I’ve come up with so far:

Go to the gym at least thrice weekly
Read at least five books from the Top 100 English Language Books list
Answer emails in a timely manner
Finish at least two projects per month
Start an idea book
Catalogue and categorize my library

I think that’s it for now. Let’s see how long I can keep it up.