Princess Almost Plummets to Death!!!

Ok, so that's a bit of an exageration, but it was close. Not really.

So, I go to get on the elevator to go to the ninth floor, where I work. Another woman gets on the elevator with me. She must weigh a good 300 lbs. I push the button for the ninth floor. She pushes the button for the eleventh floor (psychiatry). She's obviously doesn't work here, so she must be a patient up there. Therefore she's crazy.

So the elevator door slides closed, but then the elevator doesn't move. I wait about thirty seconds, then push the door open button. The doors open up immediately, so I push the door closed button. They do so. Still the elevator doesn't move. "Huh," I say. The woman looks at me, looks at the elevator doors, and then starts jumping up and down, causing the elevator to go jiggling all around on its cables.

"Stop, stop!" I yell to the crazy woman, "Stop doing that!"

She stops only long enough to look at me and say, "It works in my apartment building."

Yeah, I'm sure it does when the elevator's stuck on the thirteenth floor and you need to get to the first so your massive ass invokes GRAVITY. Bitch should know that if you weigh over 150, you DON'T JUMP ON THE TWENTY YEAR OLD ELEVATOR.

I have nothing against large people. I am a large person. But it's common sense. Granted she's a psychiatric patient, but come on. I could have died. The whole hospital would have mourned.

Seriously.

Needless to say I hauled my ass off that elevator as soon as it stopped rocking like it was an earthquake and took a different one.