Happy Halloween

You know, I'm not the biggest holiday person, but Neatorama linked to this site which is having a pumplin contest. I wanted to share my favorites.

Lego Lantern

And of course, because I love me some pi...

On the FREEDOM OF SPEECH...

I really hate repeating myself, but it seems it's warranted, unfortunately.

Living in the United States affords us certain liberties, among which is the freedom of speech. It's a freedom I greatly appreciate and use to its fullest extent. I understand that not everyone will agree with what I am saying, and furthermore, I agree that some people may even think me not a good person.

Fine. Whatever.

I publish ALL comments because I believe in EVERYONE'S right to say what they want, and to have their opinions heard, even if I don't agree, or it hurts my feelings. I WOULD APPRECIATE THE SAME IN RETURN. Unfortunately, a certain gentleman believes that because I embrace this constitutional right of mine, I'm a nasty bitch whose parents don't love her.

Congratulations, Middle-Aged Man. I hope you're proud of yourself.

Among your comments to me, you've written:

...Now I understand why people think us New Yorkers are ASS-HOLES, and on top of it you are making Jewish people look bad too (my Nan would smack you if she could), but at least you don't have any visitors to care about what you have to say...

Your parents didn't love you did they?

and

I thought I would leave one more comment so you could get to ten for the first time. CONGRATS!

Even though I don't like posting anything insulting, I still did, didn't I? Because YOU, Mr. Middle Class, have the right to have your opinions heard, even in my teeny tiny little blog that no one but you apparently reads.

I didn't like someone else's blog. So what? You don't like my blog. So what? Walk away, home boy. No one invited you.

AND SO...IN CONCLUSION

From henceforth, on the topic of my apparently nasty bitchiness, unless someone has a constructive comment for me, I will publish no more comments.

Welcome to the Blogsphere, Mr. Middle Class, glad to know you're willing to give everyone an equal chance at having their opinions heard. So long, of course, as they don't insult your friends or you.

Enough of this drama...

Okay, enough with all this drama bullshit. Even I'm getting bored. Look! It's another testicle! This one has a spermatocele. Ew.
I drew this piece for a video being done by one of our physicians.

AH HA!

So...a few posts ago, I bitched about this blog, My Super Hopeless Romance, yes, a blog to which I linked, and received an anonymous post from someone who didn't like what I had to say. I clarified, and she explained that she used to be like this girl, and now she's married with three kids, and of course she's posting anonymously, because I sound like I have rage issues. Well, now she's given herself up. My Super Hopeless Romance linked here, and wouldn't you know, it's the actual writer of My Super Hopeless Romance, who says she used to be like the character, who's now married with three kids. Plus, she used the terms "rage issues" and "dreck". AH HA! YOU WROTE THAT GAWD-AWFUL BULLSHIT THAT YOU SO VALIANTLY DEFENDED. Caught ya, beyotch.

Dude, I'm just saying, if you're going to defend yourself against people anonymously because you're afraid of those of us with "rage issues" don't come out of the closet so frickin' publicly.

And now, reading through the comments on that particular post, a lot of people are upset that it's fake 'cause they believed it was real, and she made them feel like idiots. Now the author's whining that instead of commenting on her blog to complain, they're emailing her and then bitching on their blogs about it.

BITCH (yes, here comes my rage issues yet again) GET OVER IT. YOU DID THIS TO YOURSELF WHEN YOU LEAD A BUNCH OF HOPELESS ROMANTICS ON.

Amy Sedaris teaches Chelsea how to clean her hoodehoo

An email from administration

This email was sent out today:

Please stop using your telephone headsets immediately due to a short circuits in the battery that can cause overheating and pose a fire hazard. See the notice below from Hello Direct regarding battery failure in the telephone headset model you are using.

Today, ** inspected each of your headsets to confirm whether (1) it is a model GN9120, and (2) it has a new or old battery inside. All of you have the defective battery inside your headsets.

Awesome. I smell worker's comp.

Wednesday Afternoon Suckage

You know what sucks? When you pee in the staff bathroom, flush the toilet, and all of a sudden it starts backing up and overflowing with poo, so even though you didn't do the poo yourself, it still seems like you did.

Everything should taste like bacon

You know, I haven't posted about the happiest meat on earth in a while, and I got the feeling that bacon was feeling a bit neglected. Well, I figured it was time to remedy that, so here's some bacon tidbits.

This here's an honest-to-goodness bacon topped pie from a bacon blog. I would totally eat that. For realz.

This is just a cute picture of the world's cutest meat from I Heart Bacon.

And remember my earlier post about the double-fatty melt, which is a burger sandwiched between two grilled cheeses? YUM!. Well, here's a bacon-double fatty melt. Holy moley, my tummy's a-rumblin'. From Bacon Unwrapped.

And finally, so everything really CAN taste like bacon: Bacon Salt. From Bacon Salt. (doy)

Now, I know that doesn't go very far to satisfy a bacon craving, and in fact may have exacerbated it. But those pics are oh-so-lovely.

Holy mother of god

You know, I get that different cultures have different tastes in food, but some of these just seem vile. I love Japanese food. I don't get yogurt-flavored pepsi. Who wants to drink watery, carbonated yogurt?

Amazing Artist

CGUnit is a great online gallery of artists and their artwork. I usually don't post about many of their artists, however, because the vast majority of the artwork they pick is very similar. Very. They posted about this one, however, and it's so awesome and unique, I felt I had to share it. If you link to the artist's livejournal page, however, just be aware that it's in Russian.

Coconut

I gave my bird a bath last night. She's molting and very cranky, but she seemed to enjoy herself.

Pimpery

Recently, my sister came visiting from Portland, and brought with her this necklace by Portland designer Teresa Robinson. It's handmade, and soooo cute.

You can check out her other designs at her online gallery and store: Small Things

Blow my Shofar

I'm doing Christmas shopping. And since I'm Jewish, I try to find things that will make my Jewish mom and sister feel included. Here's what I've found:



Hell yeah. My mom and sis are gonna be ROCKIN' these in upstate NY where they're the only jews for miles around.

Perhaps I should clarify...

As I've posted about before, I publish nasty comments towards myself because I appreciate the fact that everyone is allowed their own opinion. The post directly before this one, in which I picked on another person's blog, while, yes, linking to said blog, because let's be honest, mockery is best shared with company, brought forth this comment from an oh-so-brave anonymous commenter:

Man. Maybe you should get checked out for your totally irrational level of hatred and disgust for a fictional person. She's a character thousands of people apparently like to read - including you. And you're not only reading it but POSTING about it and linking to it. That's just weird.

Firstly, let's not assume I like to read her blog. I don't. Hence my mentioning that someone had just linked me to it that very day. Secondly, I feel scorn towards the writer of the blog. As is my right. The writer of her blog admits that it's idiotic and pathetic, so it's not like I'm saying anything she doesn't already know. My "irrational hatred and disgust" isn't towards the author of the blog, it's towards ALL women who act like sniveling little shits in love with a man but without the balls to do anything about it. And did I at any point tell people not to read the blog? No. Did I make fun of people for reading the blog? No. In fact, as you so astutely pointed out, I linked to it.

People got shit to say about my blog? Dude, it's my blog. Don't like it, don't read it. If I hurt your feelings...I'm not sorry. It's my right to say whatever the hell I want.

Suck on THAT, beyotch.

Was I ever like this? Gawd, I hope not.

A friend sent me a link to this blog. My Super Hopeless Romance. It's a chick blogging about a man she likes. It reeks of middle school. It's pathetic. She admits it right out how pathetic and idiotic she is, and yet whine, whine, whine, I love him, why won't he ask me out, bitch, bitch... I remember shit like this from middle school and hope to HELL I was never one of these people. ASK HIM OUT, BITCH. SUCK IT UP. What, you'd rather go through life miserable because he doesn't know you want him?

ARGH. And here I was, so GLAD middle school was behind me.

And yes, I know I don't have to read her blog. Doy. I'm just saying, it peeves me that grown women actually act this way.

Literature Review

One thing that always depresses me when browsing through the new sci fi section at Barnes and Noble is that it is set up directly next to the sci fi authors whose names start with A. Included in this section are Isaac Asimov and Douglas Adams, both of whom are, by far, my favorite sci fi authors ever. Why does this depress me? Well, they're both dead. Never to publish again.
Invariably, I find myself scanning their titles in vain.


Earlier this week was no exception. But lo! What do I find but an Asimov book previously unknown to me. Pebble in the Sky was Asminov's first novel, and it was the first time I'd ever seen it. Needless to say, I snatched it up.

Today, at lunch, I finished the book. It was remarkable to read a piece from such an early time in his career. Not as polished as his later work, it was still a beautiful piece of literature.

Set in the future after humans have gone and spread themselves throughout the galaxy, the citizens of Earth are outcast by the rest of the galactic inhabitants because Earthlings fancy themselves the origin of man while the popular theory is that humanity evolved independantly on each planet. Today, of course, knowing what we know of evolution, this concept is ridiculous, but back when the novel was written, mayhaps it wasn't such an impossible idea?

Anyhoo, it's a remarkable book. Read it. You have to. Absolutely. It's a future sci fi, it's dystopia, it's alternate reality, it's political intrigue, it's megalomania, and, best of all, it's Asimov.

For realz. Read it.

Them's fightin' words.

What do you do when someone steals your work?

My boss, the King of Reproductive Medicine, just sent me an email saying that a lowly OB-Gyn here at our institution has stolen his work. What to do about this travesty? I propose a duel. I've even offered him one of my gloves that he can use to smack the offending physician on the cheek.

DECIDA/HIDA scan...

Oddly, I've noticed that Decida is the most common keyword search that connects to my blog. Lots of people looking to figure out what it is, so, here ya go.

A Desida (proper spelling) scan, also known as a HIDA scan, or a Hepatobiliary scan, is used to determine the functionality of the gall bladder and/or liver. You'll get an IV of two medications, one to light up your gall bladder like a Christmas Tree (technetium-99) and another to make your gall bladder contract (Kinevac). Side effects of the medication? They may make your groin hot. Deal with it. As the gall bladder contracts, the machine will watch the radioactive chemicals they injected into you to see how easily and quickly they get processed.

NOTE: If this test comes back negative, that doesn't necessarily mean you're not sick. Don't let the doctors tell you that there's nothing wrong with you. Acalculus colocystitis (jacked gall bladder WITH NO STONES) will show a negative test. My test was negative. All my tests were negative. I still went ahead with the surgery and ya know what? I'm all better now.

Jackass doctors.

The affair continues apace

This past weekend, two of my sisters came into town, and we went out to dinner in Park Slope. That's right, I actually hauled my chunky ass out to Brooklyn. It was a cute little restaurant called Blue Ribbon. I saw marrow with ox tail marmalade on the menu, and of course had to order. Here I am looking at it adoringly. The ox tail was yummy, too. One of the bones was slightly overcooked, and in my marrow extracting talent, was able to yank out THE WHOLE THING with one pull without breaking it. So yummy.

Anyhoo...if you ever find yourself in Park Slope (whether voluntarily or not) and need sustenance, try our Blue Ribbon. For realz.

#3 of my urology series

This is the third drawing for my urologic anatomy series. This one has been such a massive work-in-progress, as it's the only one I'm doing in color (need to be able to see the difference between veins and arteries, don't ya know). I hope this is acceptable; I'm getting sick of looking at it.

Mmm...cake...mmm...bacon

In a massive TEASE, Weburbanist posted a piece called "sweet slices of pi: 20 more awesome geek cakes", and while I can wholly appreciate a geek cake, there was absolutely no pi's anywhere in the post. I got all excited for nothing. Why would you tease me like that, Weburbanist? Have I not pimped your blog to your satisfaction?

They did, however, deem fit to post pictures of pork-themed confections. My favorite one is on the bottom right. Mom...if you're reading this, let's have that cake for Hanukkah, k?

Happiness is...

VINDICATION

When I was a kid, I was an only child for over a decade. So lonely and depressed was I that my parents took to telling me that our cat - a fifteen pound inbred monster with an attitude - was my brother. And I believed them (shut up - I was a gullible kid). Anyhoo...I used to fantasize that I had long-lost siblings out there.

See what can happen when you have a good imagination? Right now I'm imagining that I have a million dollars.

Sigh...I wish they were still here. My sisters are awesome.

Best album review EVER

I'm bored, all right?

Anyhoo, List of the Day posted Cracked.com's list of the most unnecessary best hits albums ever along with their reviews of each respective album. This was, by far, my favorite:

Soulless, borderline-offensive-to-the-genre blues songs performed by rich white men are an art form loved by dozens. Bruce Willis (or Bruno, as he's called by graying douchebags who prefer their blues served with a heaping side of financially stable) actually has FOUR best-of collections. Ultimately, we settled on "The Master Series" because of the awesome title and super gay album cover.

On unnecessary testing and amnesia

Yesterday, I left work early in order to undergo an upper endoscopy. Ever since my gall bladder surgery two years ago, I've progressively had worse and worse reflux and regurgitation, which, while not as nasty as the nausea caused by my gall bladder, isn't very pleasant. I went to my GI doctor who decided to do this test on me to see if I had an ulcer or some sort of stricture that was making me sick.
Well, I got there and was brought in to the room. An IV was placed in my arm in order to administer the MAC (managed anesthesia care - where they knock you out but not enough to require an endotracheal tube), and I was informed that, prior to their putting me to sleep, I'd have to gargle an awful tasting anesthetic in order to supress my gag reflex. Unfortunately, I'm extremely sensative to nasty tastes, and therefore broke out in a cold sweat when the anesthesiologist told me this.
The doctors let me stew there with this news for a while, during which time I became increasingly nervous. Finally, when it was time to take the nasty crap, it wasn't too bad. Kind of tastes like liquid steroids.

That done, I was put blissfully to sleep, had a nice little thirty minute nap, and then woke up feeling a bit drunk.

I went back into the doctor's office afterward to discuss his findings. Apparently, before they'd moved me into the recovery room, we'd already discussed everything because I had professed my lucidity; I remember none of this. All in all, there's nothing wrong with my stomach or my esophagus, and I'm doing a-okay. Although I do have some stomach polyps, as you can see above, but they're apparently not as much of a harbinger of danger as colon polyps are.

So woozy was I that it didn't occur to me until I got home that, since the test was negative, we still don't know what's causing my reflux or regurgitation.

The moral of the story? I dunno...I just wanted to post pics of my innards on my blog. Enjoy!

hehe...he used a natural *log*

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it is time for another witty cartoon from xkcd, this one MATH - THEMED!!! Hooray for math!!!

Naturally (that's a math reference), my favorite position is the last square.

Honestly, though, I think 34 would have been funnier if it had been 42 (said in an all-knowing, all powerful computer voice)


...


holy crap I'm a geek

Happy Tummy

Yes, I know it's after sundown, and I'm being naughty for using a computer, but I wanted to share with you my marrow bones. I had posted a few days ago about how much I was craving bone marrow, so tonight, on Yom Kippur eve, I made it. SOOOO YUMMY.

First, I gave the bones an overnight water bath in the fridge, changing the water once.

Next, I laid out the bones on a foil-lined sheet and waited for the oven to reach 450.

I put parbaked sourdough rolls on another sheet to bake alongside the bones.

While the bones and bread were cooking, I sauteed in olive oil a shallot and one clove of garlic with lemon juice to spread on the bread.

This is the oil when done.

And here's the finished product. It was sooooo yummy, even though BF was too scared to try it. I admit, it's not for everyone, but right now my tummy is so happy.

Now, no more eating till tomorrow night. G-d will forgive this blog post, I'm sure.

Tuesday Afternoon Craving

Come procrastinate with me

I'd posted a while back on one of the ways I hope I don't die. Well, in today's random browsing, I came across some fun quizzes, one of which was to find out how long I, myself, would survive in the vacuum of space. And you know what? More than a minute.



The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy also addresses this problem, but I feel confident in the fact that the infinite improbability drive will find me long before I explode, even if I am turned into a yarn person.

Furthermore, I have noticed that my blog has slowly, but inexorably, turning into a geek blog. Why is this? Well, I suppose I'm a geek. Proudly not a dweeb, but definitely a geek. See, this here quiz says so:

78% Geek

Yes, I'm spending way too much time on that website. Look: this is how much my dead body would be worth!

$4715.00The Cadaver Calculator - Find out how much your body is worth.

All right, I suppose I should do SOMEthing.

Gurgh.

Speaking of favorite poems...

For my own literary enjoyment, here are a couple more of my favorite poems.

Tell all the Truth

Tell all the truth but tell it slant,

Success in circuit lies,

Too bright for our infirm delight

The truth's superb surprise;

As lightning to the children eased

With explanation kind,

The truth must dazzle gradually

Or every man be blind.

- Emily Dickinson

Annabel Lee (this poem is best recited out loud)

It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of Annabel Lee--
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.
I was a child and she was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea,
But we loved with a love that was more than love--
I and my Annabel Lee--
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven
Coveted her and me.
And this was the reason that, long ago,
In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
My beautiful Annabel Lee;
So that her highborn kinsmen came
And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
In this kingdom by the sea.
The angels, not half so happy in heaven,
Went envying her and me--
Yes!--that was the reason (as all men know,
In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,
Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.
But our love it was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we--
Of many far wiser than we--
And neither the angels in heaven above,
Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee:
For the moon never beams, without bringing me dreams
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee:
And the stars never rise, but I feel the bright eyes
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee:
And so, all the night-tide, I lay down by the side
Of my darling--my darling--my life and my bride,
In the sepulchre there by the sea--
In her tomb by the sounding sea.

- Edgar Allan Poe

Stopping By the Woods on a Snowy Evening

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound’s the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

- Robert Frost

It's a literary romp!

One of my favorite poems (and apparently everyone else's) is This is Just to Say by William Carlos Williams.

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast.

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold.

Yeah, well, give me a break.

Anyhoo, a blog called Yankee Pot Roast has several spoofs of that there poem, and this one made me giggle.

I have eaten
the soy ice cream
that was in
the ice box

and which
you expressly asked
me
not to touch

Forgive me
it was so gross
I threw half of
it away

I think PeTA just pissed their pants

I'm usually not opposed to animal research, so long as it's not pointless or intentionally cruel. Now, I can almost see a purpose to this second video here, but the first one? Not so much.

This scientist, Vladimir Demikhov, was one of the pioneers of organ transplant. In his spare time, he liked to sew dogs together. And they lived. I honestly cannot see any practical applications to 2-headed, 6-legged dogs.


Soviet scientist Sergei Brukhonenko claimed to have decapitated this dog and kept it alive by hooking it up to a machine. Here, you see it move, react to stimuli, and eat. However, the fact that it can move its head to the degree that it does, all without having a neck or body (or spinal cord for that matter), makes me somewhat skeptical. Either way, how was this dog not in an immense amount of pain?

You lik-a my nut?

Another drawing from the series I'm preparing for an upcoming urology text book. This one accentuates the epididymis, vas deferens, and lumen.

Guilty Pleasure?

I will admit that I'm addicted to television. And yes, while I watch a buttload of documentaries, there is some tv which I'm embarrassed to say I watch. And in lieu of the boredom currently threatening, here's a list of my guilty television pleasures.

**Side note: do you care about what I watch? Probably not. Do I care that you don't care? Nope. My blog. Don't like it, go suck a furry fruit, loser.

Chelsea Handler is the host of late-night talk shoe Chelsea Lately, which is the female, humerous version of...well...just about every late-night talk show out there. She's hilarious, loves vodka, self-deprecating, and gorgeous. She admits when she's been wrong, and has a cute, Mexican, midget side-kick. And no, I'm not embarrassed of this one.

Family Guy, written by the same guy who wrote Spawn, is centered around this entirely dysfunctional family that makes The Simpsons look boring and one-dimensional. I got hooked by the sheer shock value of the comedy. I'm not ashamed of watching this one, either.

I like Mythbusters on Discovery because it makes me able to contradict know-it-alls. And they blow stuff up. Nope, still not embarrassed.

Oh, Chuck. Oh, how do I love thee? Geeky, nerdy, clever, I LURVE this show so much.

Gamers are still nerds, though, and not in a good way.

And no, don't feel guilty about this one.

Girls Next Door is a reality show centered around Hugh Heffner's bimbette girlfriends. I hate Holly (fake) and Kendra (obviously disgusted by Hef), but there's more to Bridgette than meets the eye. She has several masters degrees.

And yes, I am mildly embarrassed that I watch this.

I started watching Law and Order: SVU after meeting Ice T while they were filming outside the school at which I used to teach, and wouldn't you know, I actually enjoyed the show. Best acting out of all the L&O franchises.
Nope, no shame here.

I love House. I wish I could marry House. So sexy in a dirty, douche bag kinda way.

I watch him with pride.

Bones is about a forensic anthropologist, a career in which I had been extremely interested as a child. (you can form whatever opinions about my personality from that as you will). Honestly, I started watching Bones simply for David Boreanaz (Oh, Angel, how I miss you), but wouldn't you know, it's a fabulous show. Makes me seem almost normal.

Best Week Ever on Fridays on VH1 lets me scorn all the losers out there along with D-list comedians. How could I be embarrassed about that?


Nope, still not ashamed. I love this show. If you don't love this show, you have no sense of humor.
Yes, I watch Project Runway. Shut up.

A show about a serial killer. I still have a hard time seeing the actor who plays Dexter as anything other than a homosexual funeral parlor owner (ala Six Feet Under). Great show. I like watching it on my Ipod while at the gym.

I just recently got into this show about Henry VIII. I still can't decide with whom my loyalties lay. Henry? Kind of a prick. Anne? Kind of a bitch. Katherine? Pitiful.

I love this show, and it's history. If I'd watched this show in high school, I probably would have done better in European History.

I caught The Ex List this past Friday, and was amazingly surprised. I'm a bit shocked that I like it so much, and know I'll be the recipient of scorn as a result, but I don't care.

Shows that I love that I wish had never been cancelled:

Rome, My So-Called Life, Freaks and Geeks, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (shut up), Oz

Huh. I'm not as embarrassed as I thought I'd be. I am embarrassed about the almost 12 hours I have allotted each week to shows, not counting the random documentaries I watch along with them.