Friday, August 29, 2008
Circuit City's computer technicians call themselves "Firedog" for no reason that I can see. Nevertheless, there they are. And luckily for you, person who is reading this blog and therefore has at least an elementary understanding of the workings of computers, Firedog has a service called "New Computer Setup - In store". And what, pray tell, does this get you for $40? Why, they'll 1. perform an initial setup "We'll turn on your computer, and run through all the steps involved in getting your Windows operating system running and set to your specifications. " (you know, follow the prompts that come up when you boot up computer for the first time. Basically, selecting "English" as a language, selecting a time zone, clicking "agree" to any user agreements (and thereby making you lose your chance at a Vista refund)
2. They'll run Microsoft updates "Windows is often updated to enhance protection against outside threats-we'll determine if the new updates will make your computer more secure. We'll also download any updates of your Microsoft applications-and show you how to do it again in the future. " if you're connected to the internet, it's something that happens automatically, anyways
3. Icon and software cleanup "We'll remove any unwanted icons, programs and links so you can enjoy a clean, clutter-free screen."Dude - seriously? If someone is so dumb that they can't do this themselves, then chances are, after a couple weeks using the computer, it'll clutter right back up.
4. Personalize your desktop "Your computer can have a look and feel to match your personality. We'll help you select a wallpaper background as well as desktop gadgets such as a clock or calendar. " What if my personality includes beastiality? Eh? What then? Will they accomadate me? Ooh, and a calendar? Really? Woot.
5. Set user-access controls "We'll set up user accounts that dictate what other users can access or do on your computer." uh...yeah. You mean setting up a password. Right. and finally,
6. Service wrap-up "We'll answer any questions you may have, and make sure you're satisfied with our service. " Any question? Like, the meaning of life, the universe, and everything? And will the LHC kill us all with a sustainable black hole? And if they can't answer these questions, therefore making me unsatisfied with their service, do I get all this for free?
Honestly, if you're under the age of 35, then chances are you can do all this stuff for yourself. If you're over the age of 35, chances are you know someone who can do this for you. OR, if you're a moron and have no friends, then chances are you don't need a computer, you need a life.
The moral of the story: don't use Best Buy or Circuit City to set up your computer (click here to see how inept they actually are). If you must hire someone, hire someone from a local computer store, where they probably employ IT majors from the local college or hackers from your local high school who will have much more training than the Firedog or Geek Squad technicians.