Monday, August 25, 2008

Absolut Stupidity

Rap stars in and of themselves irritate the living crap out of me, but none so more than Kanye West. A rich boy, Kanye has made a name for himself by wearing those stupid plastic glasses that look like horizontal venetian blinds while raping "go shorty, it's your birthday", Poignant stuff, that.

So this morning, on the subway with BF, I see this ad. Look at it. Feel amazed. I couldn't figure out what it was really for until I saw the fine print on the left: Absolut Vodka. Really Absolut?

Oh how the mighty have fallen. If you go to the website, you can have all your burning questions answered, like "Are there any long lasting effects to Be KANYE?" The answer: "Elevated confidence, enlarged ego, and heightened creativity." I see that increased intelligence isn't in there. Another question: "Is Be KANYE addictive?" Answer: "Stop using Be KANYE immediately if after more than 4 days you are unable to be fabulous on your own."

Hey, guess what? Absolut Vodka? It'll only get you into the pants of some desperate college freshmen looking for some cheap (or free) booze. And that's only after you've made them slug back half a liter. And if you have to use Absolut Vodka to get chicks in the first place? You are a loser.

Of course, there are two sure-fire ways to make friends easily in college: 1. Have a car. 2. buy booze for everyone.

(brought to you by the Absolute (c) Douchebag campaign)