Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Conspiracies make me giggle...and bleed

Have you ever heard of Alex Jones? He's a conspiracy theorist from Texas, and he makes my ass twitch. He has a radio show, which simulcasts via the internet, talking all about how the government is evil, and wants to take away our liberties, and how there's this grand conspiracy by the governing elite to turn the world population into slaves. Those lines in the air when planes fly overhead? That's the Man trying to poison you. Fluoride in the water? That's chemical plants dumping poison in the water, and the government not only sanctioning it, but convincing the population it's good for them. And 9/11? George W did it. Not only were those remote-controlled planes that smashed into the WTC, and not only was that a missile that hit the Pentagon, but all those people who were on those planes, they were flown out into an air field somewhere and shot by the military.

All these are the sentiments of Alex Jones.

So, yesterday, I happened to overhear about two minutes of his radio show. Luckily, before the sheer stupidy of his guest blew a blood vessel in my head, I was able to escape to my nice, sheltered life, completely in denial. His guest was saying how Uncle Sam, in the poster you see here, is actually the Goat of Baphomet, an image often seen in masonic writings, as well as the devil. His argument basically consisted of saying that since the poster of Uncle Sam is identical (so obviously, as you yourself can compare below) to the Goat of Baphomet, then "Uncle Sam is Satan". No, those quotation marks are not notations of my sarcasm. That is a direct quote from his guest. I wish I was able to listen long enough to get the guest's name, but I could feel myself losing IQ points by the nanosecond, and had to save myself.

Similar, yeah?

Alex Jones was also able to infiltrate a secret meeting of the world's powerful, where they had mock human sacrifices on the alter of a 40 foot owl deity. Outside the ceremonial site, Jones stoppedd by a sign, where he pointed out the human skull roped to the sign. "...of course it's not a real skull, but..." says Jones.

And the fact that people LISTEN to this asshole, and actually believe his bullshit. It's almost enough to make me think that he's an evil subversive genius who, after his radio show, sips schnapps with his revolutionary cronies, laughing, saying, "Can you believe they're swallowing my bullshit?"

Wouldn't it be amusing if he's a government operative, sent to cause unrest in the populice?