When I was in the fourth grade, the New Kids on the Block were the bee's knees, baby. I had a crush on Donny, because he was the bad boy. It was 1989, and The Right Stuff was their hit du jour. I also had this obscenely large Joey button that must have been four inches across. I also had posters, a towel, a wash cloth and myriad different items of clothing. Unfortunately, by fifth grade, I was no longer allowed to like the New Kids (so said my peers), as Vanilla Ice's Ice Ice Baby was not the music everyone was supposed to like. I never liked it. Turns out I was RIGHT. And all of them were WRONG. HA HA!! Vindication!
Back then the New Kids were so much better. And they'd made it, you know? You can tell you've made it because Weird Al parodied The Right Stuff in his song The White Stuff. It was about Oreo cookies. It went thusly:
The first one was a sweet one/second one was a blast/soon I finished off the bag/ate them up real fast/You can see them in my teeth/tell it when I talk/had so many my pancreas just went into shock.
It was genius, I tell you.
Anyhoo, I just got an email from ticket master. The New Kids on the Block, now calling themselves NKOTB, are playing Madison Square Garden in the end of October. I may not fit into that ratty old jumper from when I was 9, but dammit if I can score tickets, I will wear that Joey button.
Tickets go on sale on 6/9/08. Buy them here. You know you want to. That inner fourth grader is demanding it. You could wear a bowler and a smiley face shirt. And acid-washed jeans with holes in the knees. You'd be totally tubular.