Like you're sticking your head up a dude's ass

The latest in the medical illustration series on which I am working. I think I'm done. I hope I'm done. I'm so sick of looking at male reproductive organs.

Size Matters

I did much better than I thought I would, especially considering that I've never been to nor heard of many of these places.

A Venti Quiz on Quirky Sizes



Score: 80% (8 out of 10)

Holy crap on a cracker

Nicely done, CGUnit. A unique artist that actually made me stop and say "holy shit". This here is Candice Tripp, and she's frickin' amazing.

Thursday Afternon Cravings

You know, I don't ALWAYS crave bacon. Ok, yes I do, but I don't ONLY crave bacon. Here are four more foods that I really, really, really love.

Proscuitto and buffalo mozzarella. With the meat wrapped around the cheese. SOOOO good.

Pillsbury toaster strudels. The strawberry kind. With the icing on top. My favorite holiday breakfast.

Sloppy Joes. Mmm...I love me some sloppy joes.

And finally, waffles with butter and maple syrup. And I mean real maple syrup, not that ridiculous fake crap.

My stomach is growling so loud right now.

A is for acalculus colocystitis

I've been doing some DBT (dialectic-behavioral therapy) for my borderline personality disorder, and in particular trying a distracting technique very much like A is for apple, B is for banana, but something that actually takes some brain power.


It's the ABC's of hypochondria:

A is for Acalculus Colocystitis
B is for Balanitis
C is for Crypto-orchadism
D is for Diabetes
E is for Elephantiasis
F is for Fibroids
G is for gastroesophageal reflux disease
H is for hemophilia
I is for ischemia
J is for jaundice
K is for kidney stones
L is for lyme disease
M is for menopause
N is for necrotizing fasciitis
O is for orchalgia
P is for Peyronie's Disease
Q is for Quinquaud's decalvans folliculitis
R is for Rigormortis
S is for shingles
T is for Tardive Dyskenesia
U is for Urinary retention
V is for varicocele
W is for Wandering spleen
X is for Xeroderma pigmentosum
Y is for Yellow fever
Z is for zonular cataract

See, now wasn't that fun? The thing that was bothering me before no longer is. Yay!

Now you try.

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

We're now one step closer to my nightmare being reality: a GINORMOUS, single-celled organism, that's right, a protozoa, Gromia sphaerica , has been discovered. Homeboy's the size of a grape. Soon enough. area rug-sized amoebas will be slithering over me in the nighttime to suck out my brains through my nostrils.

Ooh, does ooh need a hug?

Go on. Click the picture. Go ahead. I'll wait. Read the laundry list of whining and bitching by one Michael Minelli, who was referred to as "Douche Nine" in the book "Hot Chicks with Douchebags". His feelings were SO hurt, that he's suing the author and the publisher of the book. The picture is an excerpt from the lawsuit.

Poor baby. Someone called him a douchebag. And instead of handling the situation with grace, laughing it off, playing off it, and probably making himself into the biggest player of all time (everyone knows chicks LOVE assholes), he's whining about it. Publically.

I cannot wait to see how this one plays out.

Snorg bork bork, borkety snork bork

Debork Obama: Says the Swedish Chef, "Yom-yom-yommm, mit de chocolad. Bork, bork, bork!" By Sleeper Cell.

Sinks to fit two aspects of my life

WebUrbanist did a great montage of interesting sinks today. Here are two that fit PERFECTLY into different aspects of my own life.
This sink is breath-taking in its Fibonacci-ishness. Although I think it would be kinda gross to have to scrape out the toothpaste globs every morning. But how MATHY is this, eh?

Then there's this one, that's supposed to imitate a river. Uh, sure it is. I've worked in Reproductive Medicine long enough to know that if it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then, dude, it's a sperm. Look at this thing. How is this a river? It's a frickin' sperm. Tell me it's not a sperm.

I want to talk my boss into installing the sperm sink in our bathroom. I think, next to our viagra light switch plate, we'll be the most awesome ball and dick doctors in the whole of NYC.

Yay, Penguin!

Found this on Neatorama. A penguin outwits a pod of hungry orkas.




Update: Link should be working now.

Alternate: http://www.milinkito.com/1343/listo/

Monday morning bacon

Browsing Etsy this morning. Found me some bacon products. Thought I'd share, because what says lovin' more than bacon?

This looks like chocolate, but it hides within its sweet interior bacony goodness. It contains:
Chocolate Covered Bacon: 8 pieces of super crispy, super bacony bacon, covered in your choice of milk or dark chocolate and very lightly sprinkled with sea salt

Bacon Caramels: 4 of our signature caramels, topped with a crisp piece of bacon and covered in your choice of milk or dark chocolate and a sprinkle of sea salt

Bourbon and Black Pepper Truffles: 2 dark chocolate truffles, spiked with Woodford Reserve(TM) bourbon and freshly ground black pepper, covered in dark chocolate


This is a painting of bacon. Who doesn't want a painting of bacon? That you can gaze upon while eating bacon?
And finally, a felted scarf that looks creepily like bacon. Imagine it. It's a freezing cold day outside, and your belly is stuffed full of pan-fried, salty, porky goodness. You wrap a faux piece of that salty, porky goodness around your neck, and lo! the scent of your breakfast lingers, to tantalize you throughout the day.


See...a bacon a day keeps gloominess at bay.

Or something like that.

Mental_Floss is AWESOME

Look at this shirt from Mental_Floss!!!!!!! It's so AWESOME!!!


!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Math joke that sent my eye a-twitchin'

I love Neatorama. They went and visited the website where I'd gotten those math jokes the other day, and posted their favorite. Now, I heart math jokes, but this one was painful even to me.

There were three medieval kingdoms on the shores of a lake. There was an island in the middle of the lake, over which the kingdoms had been fighting for years. Finally, the three kings decided that they would send their knights out to do battle, and the winner would take the island.

The night before the battle, the knights and their squires pitched camp and readied themselves for the fight. The first kingdom had 12 knights, and each knight had five squires, all of whom were busily polishing armor, brushing horses, and cooking food. The second kingdom had twenty knights, and each knight had 10 squires. Everyone at that camp was also busy preparing for battle. At the camp of the third kingdom, there was only one knight, with his squire. This squire took a large pot and hung it from a looped rope in a tall tree. He busied himself preparing the meal, while the knight polished his own armor.

When the hour of the battle came, the three kingdoms sent their squires out to fight (this was too trivial a matter for the knights to join in).

The battle raged, and when the dust had cleared, the only person left was the lone squire from the third kingdom, having defeated the squires from the other two kingdoms, thus proving that the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.

A New Toy (er...tool) for Hypochondriacs

Google has a flu tracker. There you go, hypochondriacs! Now you have more evidenciary backing for self-diagnostics! Yay!

Yes, my dorkiness continues apace

As a raging geek, it may be my responsibility to be enamored with Star Wars. Unfortunately, that is a subject in which I am severely lacking. To compensate, I love Star Trek. While I don't know the episodes by numbers, nor do I have the engineering schematics of the USS Starship Enterprise, I have seen every single episode of TNG.

To satisfy the Trekies out there, Thinkgeek is offering these badass Star Trek switchplates. I want them. I want them bad.

Etsy, gathering place for crafty geeks worldwide.

So, I've spent some time on Etsy today, since I've been thinking about starting an Etsy shop. Here are some awesome handmade products I came across that I would absolutely love.








Here's a crocheted labrat. This artist also has frogs. We do a lot of rat dissection here, and I thought this was awesome.

In college, I did my final paper on Pi, and consequently became obsessed. I just thought this pi necklace was adorable.

As the Princess of Reproductive Medicine, who has, as of late, done a TON of pencil studies of the human testis for an upcoming anatomy book, I've become extremely well versed on the anatomy of the testicle. This gentleman's Etsy offering is a polymer clay ball in a jar. While it's really cool looking, it doesn't look all that accurate to me. I still want it, though. It would look badass on my desk, and also would kinda freak my patients out.

Besides being the Princess of Reproductive Medicine, I'm also the Princess of Math (yes I can be princess of more than one thing, thank you very much). This is a Fibonacci spiral (or golden ratio) bracelet. It's pretty. Also expensive. If I really decide I want it, I'll probably just end up making my own.

And finally, if and when I finally pop out a kid, she'll of course need to be a math geek as well. One of my favorite numbers (besides 52) is i, which is the square root of negative 1. Here's an i bib. Cute, no?

And there you have my favorite things on Etsy today.

Cool footage

I never realized until I saw this video clip that I've never actually seen live footage of the thirties. I've seen stills, and I've seen movies, but never recordings of real people going about their business.

Two brothers were cleaning out their grandparent's house in Colorado when they came across some old 16mm film. They took it to the local tv station, but they couldn't do anything with it because of decay, so it was sent to the library of congress, who transferred it to video. And wouldn't you know, it's got actual film of DDay, a wedding, in color, from the 1930's, and mid-air dogfights, amongst other things.

Here's the video of the wedding, which for some reason, absolutely fascinates me. It's silent, but in color, and I just find it weird to think that my grandparents were this age during this time.

Anyways, I just thought it was cool.

More brilliance compliments of CGUnit

CGUnit has done it again...thricely this time. Here are three more awesome artists, discovered via CGUnit.

This is a piece by artist Shawn Yu. It seems kind of Klimtesque to me...all right, it seems really Klimtesque to me, but I still like it.

This is art by a woman named Heidi Taillefer. Her work reminds me of Hindu goddesses, which I think may be the point.

This is art from Audrey Kawasaki. And yes, it looks like a lot of the other stuff on CGUnit, but something about this one is quiet, reserved, and not lewd like the others.

Anyways, I just really liked these three, and wanted to share.

Math Humor

I love math jokes. I'm certain I'm alone here, but I came across a website with a bunch of them. Here are my favorites.

This one is a cute little play on proof by induction...

Theorem. A cat has nine tails.

Proof. No cat has eight tails. Since one cat has one more tail than no cat, it must have nine tails.

Q: What is non-orientable and lives in the ocean?
A: Möbius Dick...

HA! Get it?

Statistics Canada is hiring mathematicians. Three recent graduates are invited for an interview: one has a degree in pure mathematics, another one in applied math, and the third one obtained his B.Sc. in statistics.
All three are asked the same question: "What is one third plus two thirds?"
The pure mathematician: "It's one."
The applied mathematician takes out his pocket calculator, punches in the numbers, and replies: "It's 0.999999999."
The statistician: "What do you want it to be?"

Yeah, well, maybe you don't think it's funny, but I do.

Mmm...pretty

Today, BF and I went to the gem and mineral show on the upper west side. Lots of assholes here. I was kinda surprised. When I went to the show in Museum Village, everyone was really laid back and friendly, but the people at this show were nasty. Not the kinda birthday I was looking for.

Anyhoo, I ended up purchasing this here Adamite specimen from the Ojuela Mine in Durango, Mexico. Isn't it pretty? You can't really see it in this photo, but it's crazy sparkly. Happy birthday to me.

I want one...

And in the long list of inappropriate pets I want...

Best birthday ever

Amongst other things, I got flowers. I love flowers.

Guaranteed to give my mother nightmares

When I was a teenager, I went to the town carnival, actually won one of those toss a pingpong ball in a goldfish bowl games, and as a prize, got one of these here tree frogs. Had I thought ahead about this prize, I probably wouldn't have been so excited about winning one, because, see, tree frogs need live food.

So I brought my frog home, made him a nice tank, and named him Eeyore. And what did I feed Eeyore? Well, the petstore said I had two options. I could either feed him a) mealworms - and if I did, I'd have to cut off their heads first so they wouldn't eat their way out of Eeyore's stomach, or b) crickets. Not wanting nasty, jumping bugs running all over my house, I opted for the mealworms. Needless to say, that did't last very long. Cutting the heads off of worms with a steak knife was not something I enjoyed doing, so after about a week, I changed over to crickets.

Oh, the crickets. I kept them in a little cricket cage and fed them pieces of potato. And wouldn't you know they eventually escaped. Of course they escaped. And bred. And we could hear crickets chirping in our basement for MONTHS. And one day, in the kitchen, my mother was talking to my step father, and a massive, ginormous, mutant cricket made its way across the floor. Not wanting my step father to see, my mother nonchalantly walked over to it and smooshed it beneath her bare foot.

She hasn't forgiven me to this day.

You wanna see how creepy, crawly, and nasty crickets are? Watch them devour this head of lettuce, and then imagine them scampering all about your house.



40 000 Bugs Eat a Whole Head of Lettuce in One Hour - video powered by Metacafe

Invasion of the Yarn People

When I was growing up, knitting was not something I did. It was something grandmothers did. And now that I'm an adult, knitting still is not something I do. It is, however, a decision I'm growing to regret.

Apparently, knitting has not just developed into a a younger person's hobby, it's actually become a trendy geek pasttime. How could I have missed out on this? It was all that time I spent making plush sperm.


Various yarn-artists have come up with some frickin' adorable knitted plushes, and I really wish I was in on some of this sweetness.

Stingray link

And this is apparently the new method of rebellion with the octogenarian set: guerrilla knitting.

And finally, what arts and crafts project would be complete without a knitted bloody dude with his cute yarn chainsaw?

At least I don't have to worry about anyone cornering the market on me in plush sperm dressed up as Donna Reed.

Ah, nostalgia

You know, getting up to be my age (2 years until 30), what with my birthday being tomorrow, I long for the old days, the innocent days, when things were simple, and I had no cares in the world. Coincidentally, Mental_Floss's daily lunchtime quiz today was about cartoons from the '80's.

An 80's Cartoon Quiz



Score: 100% (15 out of 15)

Sigh...

Ooh, a box of rocks for my birthday!

So, tomorrow's my birthday. It's not a date I typically look forward to, but this year, I have high hopes. Obama was elected, I've got a present waiting for me at home from ThinkGeek and, AND, this weekend is the New York City gem and mineral show, held by the Excalibur Mineral Corp.

Here are some specimens I'm hoping to get my hands on...

I'm so excited. I love me some rocks.

You're stranded on a desert island...

Thanks to Dark Roasted Blend, I think I've discovered the place in which I'd like to retire. Socatra is an island in the Indian Ocean, off Somalia. It is the most remote place on earth, and has over 700 rare species of flaura and fauna.

I love plants, and I love isolation. Look how awesome this place is.


This is a Desert Rose (adenium obesium). It's pretty.

These are called dracena cinnibaris, or Dragon's Blood Tree. They're pretty.

Only 40,000 people live there, and the first roads were installed only two years ago. It's governed by Yemen.

Look! More pretty Dragon's Blood trees! (they make candles and resin out of it).

This place totally looks like paradise to me.

And so...I'm stranded (albeit willingly) on Socatra, and I can only bring ten things with me. What are they?

1. Sketchbook

2. Lots of Bic mechanical pencils

3. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

4. My laptop (with a wireless card)

5. my animals

6. shampoo

You know...I don't think I need any more than that. Yeah...I think that'll do me.

Okey dokey then...

Don't you wish you worked with me?

You know...

When I was a kid, thinking about what I wanted to be when I grew up, it never would have, in a million years, occurred to me that I'd end up here, where I talk to men about their nuts and spoo all day.

Nor would it have occurred to me that posing Halloween ornaments in naughty positions would be professionally acceptable.

Another fun physics game

I love games that make me use my brain. In Splitter, you split the wood and tethers to make the smiley face go where you want. A great lesson on levers and slopes.

Saturday evening craving

Sigh...

Fabulous Pumpkin artist

Since everyone seems to have halloween on the brain, I came across this artist online.

Ray Villafane started out as a painter, morphed into a puppeteer and finally ended as a sculptor. He does amazing work with pumpkins, amongst other mediums.