Thursday, November 6, 2008

Guaranteed to give my mother nightmares

When I was a teenager, I went to the town carnival, actually won one of those toss a pingpong ball in a goldfish bowl games, and as a prize, got one of these here tree frogs. Had I thought ahead about this prize, I probably wouldn't have been so excited about winning one, because, see, tree frogs need live food.

So I brought my frog home, made him a nice tank, and named him Eeyore. And what did I feed Eeyore? Well, the petstore said I had two options. I could either feed him a) mealworms - and if I did, I'd have to cut off their heads first so they wouldn't eat their way out of Eeyore's stomach, or b) crickets. Not wanting nasty, jumping bugs running all over my house, I opted for the mealworms. Needless to say, that did't last very long. Cutting the heads off of worms with a steak knife was not something I enjoyed doing, so after about a week, I changed over to crickets.

Oh, the crickets. I kept them in a little cricket cage and fed them pieces of potato. And wouldn't you know they eventually escaped. Of course they escaped. And bred. And we could hear crickets chirping in our basement for MONTHS. And one day, in the kitchen, my mother was talking to my step father, and a massive, ginormous, mutant cricket made its way across the floor. Not wanting my step father to see, my mother nonchalantly walked over to it and smooshed it beneath her bare foot.

She hasn't forgiven me to this day.

You wanna see how creepy, crawly, and nasty crickets are? Watch them devour this head of lettuce, and then imagine them scampering all about your house.

40 000 Bugs Eat a Whole Head of Lettuce in One Hour - video powered by Metacafe