Tuesday, February 12, 2008

You should have thought about that before you ate my chocolates...

My nurse just left for a brief vacation. He vacations the way I eat brownies during PMS. So, now I’m here, alone, by myself. Ever notice that when you’re at work by yourself, it’s completely impossible to get anything done? Because really, who’s there to make sure you do stuff? I can just do it later. They’ll never know. On top of that, add the fact that the college just provided all of its employees with an instant messenger service, and I can feel productivity decreasing in leaps and bounds.

Thursday is Valentine’s Day. The BF called today to tell me he had eaten some of the chocolate he had found in the cabinet of my desk. I freaked, since I had been hiding the bag of gourmet chocolates I had bought him for Valentine’s Day in a cabinet in my desk.

“You ate the chocolates?!” I shrieked, my shrew persona immediately snagging the wheel of my brain and hauling ass towards the nearest mental tree.

“Yeah. I found them in your desk,” he replied, thinking he’s so goddamn clever, the little shit.

“The truffles?!?!?”

“Huh? The chocolate cherry ones. In the container.”

It took a moment to register. I busted out laughing. “Hun, how many of those did you have?”

“Like five.”

“Those are Viactiv. Vitamins for women.”

“Maybe I'll get nicer skin.” (FYI: there is nothing wrong with his skin)

“You’re gonna grow boobs or something.”

“So? Aren’t you a lesbian? You should be excited.”

Maybe this means I can wax his chest and paint his nails. Sweet.