Friday, February 15, 2008

If it weren't for my horse...

Ever hear Lewis Black's monologue about the stupidest thing he's ever heard? Some chick in a cellphone store said "If it weren't for my horse," as in giddy up, giddy up let's go, "I would never have spent that year in college," which is a degree-granting institution. Don't think about that for more than a minute or blood will shoot out your think you're driving to work, but you're not driving to work, you're thinking "if it weren't for my horse, if it weren't for my horse" and you think you're drnking coffee, you're not drinking coffee, you're thinking "what does that mean? How did she get into college with a horse" and by the end of the week they find you dead in the bathroom.

Well, someone said the stupidest thing in the world to a friend of mine, and I felt the need to share it with the rest of you, so that when I croak from cerebral hemmorhage, I have others there with me to share in my ranting.

A patient called. Said he was experiencing pain. He was asked to describe the pain.

"Well," said the patient, "it starts like a circle, then turns into a square, and's a porkchop."


"It's shaped like a porkchop?" the patient is asked.

"No," responds said patient, "it's a porkchop."

Chew on that one, Lewis.