Beijing National Stadium

This here is the stadium China built for the upcoming Olympics that they're going to be hosting in Beijing. TELL me the architect didn't get his inspiration from a packet of raman noodles.


I can totally picture it: it's the night before the design is due, and he has yet to come up with an idea for the Olympic committee. He heats up water in his hotpot, and as he's about to drop in the dried brick of raman, he looks at it and thinks, eureka! or, because he's Chinese, 尤里卡!

Jars of Unnecessary Exposition

I'm reading this book right now called Illuminated by Matt Bronleewe. He was one of the dudes from Jars of Clay. I didn't pick up the book because I'm a Jars of Clay fan (what with me being a soul-sucking godless freak destined to spend eternity frying in hell - I also use this excuse for my dislike of The Dave Matthew's Band). I picked this particular book because of the extensive praise it received.

"...this rare breed of suspense thriller combines mysterious hidden clues, secret societies, buried treasure, double agents, and the Knights Templar...if you turned National Treasure into international treasure, traded Da Vinci codes for Gutenberg Bibles, married it to Indiana Jones, and added the pacing of 24 you'd be in the neighborhood of Illuminated...on a scale of one to 10, this one goes to 11."
- Aspiring Retail Magazine

Well, that's pretty much what happened. The main character's family is held hostage so that the main character, August Adams (wife's name is April Adams - creepy month people) can decode three different pictures in each of three different Gutenberg bibles. The woman holding August hostage on an airplane gives him a one hour time limit (even though the ride is several hours long), and despite this limitation, he and his captor still take time out to have lengthy intellectual conversations - exposition.

Meanwhile, at the homestead, April is on the run from maniacal FBI agents who are actually part of a secret organization called The Order of the Dragons. She also has a Gutenberg. While creeping along an underground tunnel to escape, she and her fellow fugitive take moments out to discuss deep issues. The history behind the presence of said underground tunnels, for instance.

All this decoding, running, time limiting and expositioning all to uncover the lost secret of The Order of the Dragons, who are competing with a rival cult, The Orphans, for the same secrety which COULD CHANGE THE WORLD.

Dun dun dun.

As much as I hate to say this, even Da Vinci Code was more original than this. Or better yet, Dan Brown's other piece, Angels and Demons. I am not a Dan Brown fan, nor is adventure my primary genre.

But come on, Matt Bronleewe!

Furthermore, the plot is eerily similar to one of Johnny Depp's lesser known movies, The Ninth Gate, which was, I must say, quite entertaining, albeit anticlimactic. Depp's character has been charged with comparing the illustrations in different copies of a book entitled The Ninth Gate in order to discover a secret.

Sound familiar?

Again, at the risk of soundin redundant, come on, Matt Bronleewe!

I've got a feva'

While I can appreciate a good cowbell sketch as much as the next girl, I still think Rowlf and the Swedish Chef kicked ass. I crack up every time.


This also makes me laugh. Who doesn't laugh at the B-52's? It was a dog fish...chased by a cat fish, followed by a sea robin...la la la la la la la



And I love the fact that I can play all this shit for my sister, and since she didn't grow up in the eighties, she doesn't get it. Strangely, that doesn't make me feel old, it makes me feel superior.

Word to your motha.

karma update II

I think I need to clarify an earlier post. I know what karma is. I know it's what you do and how you handle situations. I don't think that finding a sparkly diamond ring on the train is an act of karma, but rather, when things like this happen to me, it's because my karma has been on the right track, and I'm being rewarded. Similarly, if something bad happens to me, it's because I haven't been trying hard enough to be a good person, and doing all that I can, so bad things happen.

If it makes you feel any better, the diamond ring is a bit too small, so I'm either going to have to get it resized, or sell it.

Actually, the good karma thing to do would be to post a notice saying that it was found, and see if the owner comes to claim it.

Damn. And just when I thought I was getting ahead of the game, I realize this is actually a test.

In the face of devestation...

Arnold finds a toy to play with. The real reason he ran for office?

Jazz hands!

Karma update

My fiance found a diamond ring (real!!) on the train as we were traveling upstate for the weekend. It's soooo sparkly.

Sweet.

Greetings from deep within the abyss