Guaranteed to give my mother nightmares

When I was a teenager, I went to the town carnival, actually won one of those toss a pingpong ball in a goldfish bowl games, and as a prize, got one of these here tree frogs. Had I thought ahead about this prize, I probably wouldn't have been so excited about winning one, because, see, tree frogs need live food.

So I brought my frog home, made him a nice tank, and named him Eeyore. And what did I feed Eeyore? Well, the petstore said I had two options. I could either feed him a) mealworms - and if I did, I'd have to cut off their heads first so they wouldn't eat their way out of Eeyore's stomach, or b) crickets. Not wanting nasty, jumping bugs running all over my house, I opted for the mealworms. Needless to say, that did't last very long. Cutting the heads off of worms with a steak knife was not something I enjoyed doing, so after about a week, I changed over to crickets.

Oh, the crickets. I kept them in a little cricket cage and fed them pieces of potato. And wouldn't you know they eventually escaped. Of course they escaped. And bred. And we could hear crickets chirping in our basement for MONTHS. And one day, in the kitchen, my mother was talking to my step father, and a massive, ginormous, mutant cricket made its way across the floor. Not wanting my step father to see, my mother nonchalantly walked over to it and smooshed it beneath her bare foot.

She hasn't forgiven me to this day.

You wanna see how creepy, crawly, and nasty crickets are? Watch them devour this head of lettuce, and then imagine them scampering all about your house.



40 000 Bugs Eat a Whole Head of Lettuce in One Hour - video powered by Metacafe

Invasion of the Yarn People

When I was growing up, knitting was not something I did. It was something grandmothers did. And now that I'm an adult, knitting still is not something I do. It is, however, a decision I'm growing to regret.

Apparently, knitting has not just developed into a a younger person's hobby, it's actually become a trendy geek pasttime. How could I have missed out on this? It was all that time I spent making plush sperm.


Various yarn-artists have come up with some frickin' adorable knitted plushes, and I really wish I was in on some of this sweetness.

Stingray link

And this is apparently the new method of rebellion with the octogenarian set: guerrilla knitting.

And finally, what arts and crafts project would be complete without a knitted bloody dude with his cute yarn chainsaw?

At least I don't have to worry about anyone cornering the market on me in plush sperm dressed up as Donna Reed.

Ah, nostalgia

You know, getting up to be my age (2 years until 30), what with my birthday being tomorrow, I long for the old days, the innocent days, when things were simple, and I had no cares in the world. Coincidentally, Mental_Floss's daily lunchtime quiz today was about cartoons from the '80's.

An 80's Cartoon Quiz



Score: 100% (15 out of 15)

Sigh...

Ooh, a box of rocks for my birthday!

So, tomorrow's my birthday. It's not a date I typically look forward to, but this year, I have high hopes. Obama was elected, I've got a present waiting for me at home from ThinkGeek and, AND, this weekend is the New York City gem and mineral show, held by the Excalibur Mineral Corp.

Here are some specimens I'm hoping to get my hands on...

I'm so excited. I love me some rocks.

You're stranded on a desert island...

Thanks to Dark Roasted Blend, I think I've discovered the place in which I'd like to retire. Socatra is an island in the Indian Ocean, off Somalia. It is the most remote place on earth, and has over 700 rare species of flaura and fauna.

I love plants, and I love isolation. Look how awesome this place is.


This is a Desert Rose (adenium obesium). It's pretty.

These are called dracena cinnibaris, or Dragon's Blood Tree. They're pretty.

Only 40,000 people live there, and the first roads were installed only two years ago. It's governed by Yemen.

Look! More pretty Dragon's Blood trees! (they make candles and resin out of it).

This place totally looks like paradise to me.

And so...I'm stranded (albeit willingly) on Socatra, and I can only bring ten things with me. What are they?

1. Sketchbook

2. Lots of Bic mechanical pencils

3. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

4. My laptop (with a wireless card)

5. my animals

6. shampoo

You know...I don't think I need any more than that. Yeah...I think that'll do me.

Okey dokey then...

Don't you wish you worked with me?

You know...

When I was a kid, thinking about what I wanted to be when I grew up, it never would have, in a million years, occurred to me that I'd end up here, where I talk to men about their nuts and spoo all day.

Nor would it have occurred to me that posing Halloween ornaments in naughty positions would be professionally acceptable.