Einstein, my love

Meh, whatever. I still did better than mental_floss bloggers, and he's their mascot.

The Einstein Quiz



Score: 60% (6 out of 10)

It's SCANDAL!

Now, there's nothing I love more than a humorous mathematics t-shirt, like this one, from Snorg Tees. Get real (tee hee).
Anyhoo, I am a subscriber to Mental_Floss's broadcast email, and they recently sent out a little blurb about their recent t-shirt contest, where people could send in suggestions for new t-shirts. They made a big deal about how people shouldn't sent in suggestions such as "they have this t-shirt over at snorg tees that would be PERFECT for mental_floss" and Mental_Floss is all, "uh, no, that wouldn't be legal" and all.

Then, they unveiled their new t-shirts. This is one of them:
Which, believe me, is kinda funny, except for the fact that that's the quadratic formula, NOT a derivative, unless they're referring to derivations of formulae, which I don't believe they are. And then...AND THEN...I see this on snorg tees this morning:
which, in my opinion, is much more accurate than Mental-Floss's version. Don't get me wrong, I love me some Mental-Floss, but really Mental_Floss, who's calling the i imaginary in this one, huh?

The laws of attraction

Magnetic Attraction



Score: 80% (8 out of 10)

Just because I know vocabulary...

...doesn't mean I know how to cook.

Mental_Floss had a quiz today on cooking techniques. I got 100%. Because I am an awesome genius, duh. Click on the link below to try it for yourself.

Name that Cooking Technique



Score: 100% (10 out of 10)

Size Matters

I did much better than I thought I would, especially considering that I've never been to nor heard of many of these places.

A Venti Quiz on Quirky Sizes



Score: 80% (8 out of 10)

Mental_Floss is AWESOME

Look at this shirt from Mental_Floss!!!!!!! It's so AWESOME!!!


!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ah, nostalgia

You know, getting up to be my age (2 years until 30), what with my birthday being tomorrow, I long for the old days, the innocent days, when things were simple, and I had no cares in the world. Coincidentally, Mental_Floss's daily lunchtime quiz today was about cartoons from the '80's.

An 80's Cartoon Quiz



Score: 100% (15 out of 15)

Sigh...

Mental_Floss Daily Quiz = Chocolatey goodness

Mental_Floss has a George Castanza candy quiz. The scary thing was that I did the entire quiz before I realized there was an answer pool immediately above the questions, and I still got an 80%. I swear I'm not a candy bar hound, I swear.

The George Costanza Candy Identification Quiz



Score: 80% (8 out of 10)

Because my geekiness knows no bounds

Ordinary Ornithology



Score: 100% (10 out of 10)

I love birds. I got a 100% on the bird quiz from Mental_Floss. How would you do?

Death becomes me

So, in continuing with my nasty mood today, Mental_Floss was kind enough to post a quiz about death. I did really well (8 correct out of 9). Does that tell you a little something about where my mind was as a teenager?

Try it for yourself.

The Likelihood of Death: A Morbid Actuarial Quiz



Score: 89% (8 out of 9)

Insignificance

Mental_Floss linked to a fabulous piece today by Michael Swaim on Cracked about 5 scientific theories that will blow your mind.



"Right now, on your computer screen, are approximately 10,000 galaxies.
Each of those galaxies contains anywhere from ten million to one trillion stars.
The average star is roughly a million times the size of Earth.
And yet, with all that junk, the Universe is more than 90 percent empty space.
All of that, in this tiny photo. A photo that took 400 orbits and 800 exposures to take.
And the kicker? The photo covers one thirteen-millionth of the entire night sky."

Because what we study is what's called the "observable universe", because we can only study what we can see and detect, "the size of the “actual” universe is so large that if the universe we just described (the impossibly, mind-bogglingly large one) were the size of a quarter, the actual universe would be the size of the Earth."

This is something I've been thinking a lot about lately. Not the size of the universe, necessarily, but how insignificant we are in it. Think about it. The earth has been around for what, 6 billion years, I think it is? That's 6,000,000,000 years. And how long does the average person live? ~80 years? If they're lucky. That's .000001333...% of the earth's total age. 80 years is not all that long. Am I really going to spend my 80 years worrying about owning the latest technology, or buying the best clothes, or making sure that no one thinks poorly of me? Am I going to spend it being angry at my government for acting like a bunch of moronic little boys in the playground?

My life is so insignificant in the grand scheme of things, and my insignificant little life is so short in the grand scheme of things, perhaps rather than dwelling on those things over which I have no control, I can appreciate what I do have. My memory won't go on forever. In one hundred years from now, who will ever have heard of me? The least I can do is not fuck everything up for those who will come after me.

I don't necessarily believe in a purpose for life. While it's nice to think that since we're made of stardust, the universe created us as a way of learning about itself, but I kind of wonder if that's just wishful thinking.

"At some point half of you was an egg in your Mother’s womb. That egg existed in her body from the day she was born. And a long, long time ago, she too was an egg in her Mother’s womb, who had that egg ready for use from the moment she squirmed out of your Great Grandma’s nethers. The point being, technically speaking, there’s no break in the chain of existence, no time when you are not a life form of at least the most rudimentary sort. Your family, at least on your Mother’s side, could theoretically be considered an immortal, constantly-regenerating organism. Of course that would make men, whose sperm has to be created years after the moment of birth, just disposable donors here to fuel the everlasting fire of womanhood. "

I WISH politics were still like this

Mental_Floss's new issue will be out soon, and Mangesh from Mental_Floss emailed everyone a snippet from the issue. I loved it so much, I wanted to share it.

The Prankster who Outfoxed Tricky Dick

When Nixon sought the presidency, his opponent, John F. Kennedy, hired a mole named Dick Tuck to play pranks on him. The day after the first debate (a contest many felt Nixon had won), Tuck spun the results by hiring an elderly woman wearing a Nixon button to hug Nixon in front of reporters and console him for losing the debate. Two years later, when Nixon ran for governor of California, Tuck had children in Los Angeles' Chinatown greet him with a sign reading "Welcome Nixon" in English and beneath the greeting, "What about the Hughes loan?" in Chinese--a reference to a controversial loan Nixon's brother had received. Nixon, who didn't understand Chinese, posed smiling next to the sign, then tore it up in front of reporters when Tuck told him the translation. During a whistle-stop train tour on the same campaign, Tuck disguised himself as a conductor and ordered Nixon's train to pull away from the station just as Nixon had begun a speech to the crowd. Worst of all, when Nixon ran for President in 1968, Tuck hired pregnant women to show up at his rallies wearing T-shirts that read "Nixon's the One." Nixon, who'd mastered the art of dirty tricks early in his career, came to both despise and begrudgingly admire Tuck. During his 1972 presidential re-election campaign, Nixon ordered aides to develop a "Dick Tuck capability." -- David Borgenicht and Turk Regan

Another Shout Out from Mental_Floss

In Mental_Floss's series Feel Art Again, they had asked for reader recommendations on artists to profile. Last week, they'd used my recommendation and profiled Alphonse Mucha, mentioning me in their article. Much to my surprise and delight, they did it again today. Maxfield Parrish is an artist I've loved since high school, and they profiled him today, naming me in this latest article.

I'm AWESOME.

A shout out from Mental_Floss

A while back, uber-smart mag Mental_Floss had asked for reader recommendations for artists to profile online. I had recommended Mucha. Today, they did, and mentioned that I had requested it . I'm famous!!! (not really, but let me enjoy being mentioned by one of my favorite magazines, eh?) Click the link to see my name. I swear that's me. I swear.

The name's Dermatitis. Atopic Dermatitis.

It seems I am quite well-versed in skin diseases. Not Dungeons and Dragons characters - just chalk that up to what I know is not a skin disease.

Skin Disease or Dungeons and Dragons Character?



Score: 100% (16 out of 16)

Didn't make 100 most influential scientists/thinkers

This from Mental_Floss. Thank god for Mental_Floss. They make my brain happy.

Word to your motha.

1. Math: Redman, “Five Boroughs”

My paragraph alone is worth five mics (uh-huh)
A twelve song LP, that’s thirty-six mics (uh-huh)

Unless Redman uses less than a paragraph of lyrics per song, I think he’s a few mics short of an LP.

2. Physics: Canibus, “Funkmaster Flex Freestyle”

I can double my density from three-sixty degrees to seven-twenty instantly.

While 360 times 2 is indeed 720, Canibus needs a little help when it comes to measuring units of density. Rather than “degrees,” acceptable terms would’ve included kilograms per cubic metre (kg/m³), grams per millilitre (g/mL) or pounds per U.S. bushel (lb/bu) — for all you farmers out there.

3. Chronology: Master P, “Do You Know”

If you don’t bring back my m****f*****n moneyor my m***f****n dope
you can forget about Christmas n***acause you ain’t gon’ even see New Years.

Hey, now that you’ve mastered P, maybe it’s time to master G — the Gregorian calendar. ‘Cause I’m pretty sure Christmas comes before New Years.

4. Astronomy / Astrology: Kanye West, “Gettin’ It In”

Don’t try to treat me like I AIN’T FAMOUS
My apologies, are you into astrology Cause I’m,
I’m tryin to make it to Uranus.

Kudos to Kanye on this point: though not as widely referenced as some of the larger, closer planets, the position of Uranus in the Heavans actually is used in modern astrology. However, its influence is considered secondary to Saturn’s — they co-rule Aquarius — and if you know anything about Aquarians (I’m one of ‘em), you’d know that members of this water sign are relatively passive and chilled-out; the last thing they’d do is try to rile Kanye, or for that matter let him into their, you know, Uranus. (Nice try, West.)

5. Physics: Lil’ Fame, “Half and Half”

First family will gradually lift that a*s up like gravity.

Rather than a snarky comback, I’ve prepared a rhyme in response:
Yo Fame, what goes up must come down
Not the otha way ’round
Getcha facts straight son
Floss online, ‘cuz books weigh a ton.

BONUS MATH PROBLEM: Foxy Brown, “Affirmative Action”

Thirty-two grams raw, chop it in half, get sixteen
Double it times three, we got forty-eight, which mean
A whole lot of cream, divide the profit by four,
Subtract it by eight, we back to sixteen.

Actually, there’s nothing wrong with the math here — in fact, what Foxy Brown has constructed for us is a little word problem. For big bonus points (and major street cred), who can tell us what Foxy’s gross coke income is, using grams rather than dollars as a unit of measure? (I’ll swing by later and post the correct answer in the comments.)

No mistakes, only happy accidents

I grew up watching Bob Ross. I loved watching him paint. I don't know many people who don't know him. Even though the only thing I really can paint is nude women, he made me yearn to do landscapes. The folks over at mental_floss have put together a happy little quiz. Click the link below to see how well you know Bob.

A Happy Little Quiz