Monday morning bacon

Browsing Etsy this morning. Found me some bacon products. Thought I'd share, because what says lovin' more than bacon?

This looks like chocolate, but it hides within its sweet interior bacony goodness. It contains:
Chocolate Covered Bacon: 8 pieces of super crispy, super bacony bacon, covered in your choice of milk or dark chocolate and very lightly sprinkled with sea salt

Bacon Caramels: 4 of our signature caramels, topped with a crisp piece of bacon and covered in your choice of milk or dark chocolate and a sprinkle of sea salt

Bourbon and Black Pepper Truffles: 2 dark chocolate truffles, spiked with Woodford Reserve(TM) bourbon and freshly ground black pepper, covered in dark chocolate


This is a painting of bacon. Who doesn't want a painting of bacon? That you can gaze upon while eating bacon?
And finally, a felted scarf that looks creepily like bacon. Imagine it. It's a freezing cold day outside, and your belly is stuffed full of pan-fried, salty, porky goodness. You wrap a faux piece of that salty, porky goodness around your neck, and lo! the scent of your breakfast lingers, to tantalize you throughout the day.


See...a bacon a day keeps gloominess at bay.

Or something like that.

I never thought I'd be jealous of Canada

If life were fair, I would be a size 6, have ginormous boobs, have finished my masters in mathematics (with my thesis being in complex analysis), live in a fabulous house, and not have to worry about money for the rest of my life. As a Princess, these are the things I believe I deserve.

However, knowing that none of these are within my reach (at least not presently), the least the universe could do to honor my princessity is make Lays expand their line of Smokey Bacon flavored potato chips from Canada down to New York. Honestly, is that too much to ask? Is it too much to make available to this New Yorker some crispy, crunchy slices of fried potato, lovingly covered with smokey-baconey goodness?

I mean, come on, universe, through me a bone here. I don't ask that much. Just extend Lay's distribution some 400 miles south for a princess.

Oh, smokey bacon potato chips, how I pine...

Wednesday afternoon bacon product

Anyone who knows me, knows of my deep and abiding love for all things bacon, despite my being a Jewess. I came across this alarm clock that wakes you up, not with an annoying screechy alarm sound, but with the delicious scent of bacon.

See, the night before, you put frozen strips of bacon into the clock. Ten minutes before it's set to wake you up, it starts slow cooking the pork strips, and the scent wakes you up. Awesome, yeah?

The only thing that concerns me is the putting of raw meat, especially bacon, into an unrefridgerated receptacle. You really shouldn't do that. So, while I covet this device greatly, I'll probably wait until a model with a built-in refridgerator becomes available.