This tickled my disillusioned funny bone

For those of you who have recently become somewhat disenchanted by the whole Twilight drama, what with the books and the movies and Stephanie Meyer's adolescent whining, Cracked posted this awesome abridged version of the Twilight script.

I laughed.

Would you like some cheese with your whine?

From Gawker: Mega-popular Twilight series author Stephanie Meyer has put on "indefinite hold" the last installment of her teen vampire books because a draft was leaked to the Internet. She is too sad about the leak to continue.

Uh, dude, if the last installment is what I think it is: Twilight from Edward's perspective, I'm pretty sure she leaked herself. She had a whole bunch of chapters on her website from before this book was in the works for publication.

I'm just saying, she's got a best-selling series for which people go to parties. She's not exactly on par with Harry Potter, but she's not far behind. The last installment of the Potter series was leaked on the internet, but that didn't stop Rawling from publishing. Meyer's gonna whine that a draft got leaked? And then pout and refuse to publish? Come on. Quit your bitching and be grateful.

Fucking diva.

Stephanie Meyer's Hollywood aspirations

Homegirl Vickie commented on one of my recent posts where I reviewed the latest offering from Stephanie Meyer. She wondered whether I would be seeing Ms. Meyer's Hollywood debut: Twilight, the movie.

Well, I spoke about it previously, and back then I was actually looking forward to it. I was somewhat embarassed over my obsession with these young adult novels, but who cared, you know? I wanted to see Edward and Bella in the flesh. Looking back now, I see that the reason I wanted - needed- to do so was because I had no clear picture of either of them in my head. No one really does. Yeah, Edward has auburn hair and skin that sparkles like diamonds. Yeah, Bella has chocolate eyes. Anything else? Nope. So basically everyone has been left to their own devices.

So, yes, I will see Twilight, the movie. I will withhold my opinion until I've given it a fair shot. Only once have I ever seen a movie that lives up to the hype of the book (The Princess Bride), but I have hope. Maybe the movie will calm the gnawing annoyance I've had with Ms. Meyer recently.

We shall see.

Literature Review - Breaking Dawn

Let me just preface this particular review by stating that I absolutely LOVE Stephanie Meyer. I enjoy her books. I have read each of her books several times through, and look forward to reading more.

That being said…

Well, I finally broke down and did it. I read Breaking Dawn. Recently, I’ve been having major second thoughts about author powerhouse Stephanie Meyer, not because I don’t love her books – I do – but because I don’t necessarily agree with the message she sends her intended demograph of tween, preteen and teen girls; in every one of her books, the main character is an under aged girl who falls for and marries older men, starting families with them. Breaking Dawn was no different. Married, pregnant, and then having children, all before the age of 20. And to top it off, this new “imprinting” thing she’s added to the story, where the werewolf men imprint on their soul mate, even when that soul mate is an infant or a toddler. There’s something about that that just smacks of lack of free will to me, at least in the cases of the females being imprinted upon.

I don’t know if I’m reading too much into it. I just know that the concept makes me a wee bit uncomfortable.

Now, for Breaking Dawn itself. It was all right. A bit anti-climactic in the end, but the conclusion was satisfying for a series finale. Interestingly, the length of time between the previous book and the release of this book produced some evidence of flaws in Ms. Meyer’s writing. For example: her characters are poorly developed. I have absolutely no picture of Emmett, Jasper, Roselie, Esmie or Charlie in my head. This whole time, I’ve been picturing Roselie as a dark beauty until Jacob started calling her “Blondie”. And I’ve been having a difficult time finding where Edward’s “siblings” and “mother” even fit into the story. I understand the purpose of Alice; she’s the most well-developed of all the siblings. Here’s how I see it. Edward was first. Then Alice. Alice was lonely, so Ms. Meyer introducted Jasper. Carlisle made Roselie for Edward, but he didn’t want her, so Ms. Meyer introduced Emmett to keep her company. I don’t know – I just think the presence of the characters don’t play any particularly important role in the story.

Anyhoo…while I have my doubts about Ms. Meyer’s intentions, there’s no doubt that her stories are beautiful. Breaking Dawn is no different, and deserves the same consideration as the rest of her novels. I think I’d give it a 7.5 to an 8 out of 10.

On a side note, it seems that, although the Twilight series has been successfully concluded, Ms. Meyer has decided to beat her dead horse with a stick and come out with Edward’s version of events.

Literature Review

The Host is the latest offering from uber-author Stephanie Meyer, goddess of the teen novel. She wrote such other treasures (and I say this completely unsarcastically) as Eclipse. As I've said previously, bestest book ever.

In this book, which does not take place in Bella and Edward's world; rather, in a post-body snatcher utopian society. The main character, Wanderer, is a slithery silver worm, and, along with other slithery silver worms, have been implanted into the bodies of the people on earth. Wanderer takes over the body of a girl named Melanie.

Melanie, however, refuses to give up her mind and disappear, so the two of them need to coexist in their brain. They escape this utopian society the body snatchers - or souls, as they call themselves - and track down a group of rebel humans hiding out in the desert, where Melanie knows her little brother and boyfriend have escaped to.

It's a nice story about self-sacrifice, which I can appreciate. It takes a while to get into it, but once you get into the meat of the story, it's well worth it. The ending is quite satisfying.

I find myself, however, a bit uncomfortable by something that seems to be a trend in Ms. Meyer's books. In the Edward books, Bella is 17 years-old, while Edward is a vampire, and therefore very old. Yes, Bella needs to be that age so the intended audience can relate, and Edward needs to be his age, but since he was turned as a teenager, it's all right. However, in The Host, Melanie's body is 17, while her boyfriend is 26, and while they fight over not sleeping together because of "conventions", it turns out the boyfriend is only hesitant because he hasn't stocked up on birth control. Later, when Wanda (as the Wanderer's come to be known whilst living in Melanie's body) is livin with the rebels, she forms a relationship with another man, also in his upper 20's.

Spoiler alert

After she gives up Melanie's body, the humans go find her another one. This one, however, is 16 years-old. And, although she lies and says she's going to be 18 in a couple weeks, the fact remains that she's 16, and is still sleeping in the same bed as this late-20's man.

My concern is that these books are meant for teenage readers. The teenagers in this book are having romantic encounters with men in their late-20's. I know that, as a Mormon, Ms. Meyer is trying to keep morals forefront in her stories, hence the importance of family and self-sacrifice, but I can't help but wonder if maybe she's missing a big problem.

Just a thought. Either way, definitely a good book for a long plane, train or car-ride.

I'm a big dork

This right here is one of the best books I've read in a long time. Yes, it's about vampires, and yes, it's told from the point of view of a teenage girl, but dude, seriously, you can just go suck it, because this book, the first in the series, is awesome. The characters aren't just relatable, I found I couldn't stop thinking about them after I'd put them down. And then, after I'd finished all the books presently out, I had to reread them again. These books are that good. So again, I reiterate, suck it.

I originally found this book buried at the back of a shelf in Target. I finished it that first night, and the next night went out and bought the sequel. Unfortunately , I had to wait a couple months before the third installment came out. Worth the wait. Now everyone's talking about the thing.

Now, I'm reading about it online, and wouldn't you know there's a big debate over which is better: Twilight or Harry Potter. Now, I love Harry as much as the next girl, but honestly, Twilight kicks Harry's scrawny butt.

So today, I find out that a movie is being made of Twilight. At first I'm like, oh, this is totally gonna suck, but then, watching the snippet from MTV News, I'm not so sure. Maybe it'll be good. And maybe it'll ruin what's become my favorite series. I sincerely hope not.

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