The MTA strikes again

So, it’s been a while since the MTA and I have fought, and apparently, they decided I was due for a good kick in the ass.

This morning, on the way to work, I left with ample time to take the train in. We were seeing patients, so I definitely didn’t want to be late. I begin descending the stairs into the subway, and run into a harried woman who shrieks at me “No A Train!” What do you mean, no A train? I wondered. I know it had been shut down over the weekend for maintenance, but it’s always back up on work days. How the hell was I supposed to get to work? The 1 train? Hells no. Too crowded. That left me with one option: the M98 bus, which is typically my preferred method of transit, but with buses you need to worry about traffic, something I don’t need on patient days.

The bus stop next to the subway station was getting mighty full, so I decided to hoof it to the bus stop one block up to beat the crowd. So I went, and stood, and stood, and stood some more, until a bus finally showed, naturally completely full. I elbowed my way on, and the bus driver closes the door, looks around and says (I kid you not) “do you guys ride this bus regularly, ‘cause I ain’t never done this route before and no one gave me directions.” Are you shitting me? He then goes on to get us stuck behind a Short Line bus for ten minutes, gets on the FDR which is CLEAR OF TRAFFIC BUT STILL HE GOES 25 MPH! WTF?!?! I’m usually a pretty quiet person, but even I yelled out, “Homey, you can keep up with traffic or we’ll never get where we’re going.”

Needless to say, I got to work almost a half hour late.

Shit. MTA:527, Vanessa :0

MTA Undercover Agent Strikes Again!

So, I've said in the past that the MTA subtly and cleverly place agents throughout their transit system with the sole purpose of driving me nucking futs. Today was no exception.

The subway arrives, I go to step on, and a child, a seven year-old, adorable little girl, followed by her doting mama (or grandmama, I couldn't tell) literally shoves me out of the way with her little toothpick arms, runs to a seat, sees where I'm gonna sit, changes her mind, shoves me out of the way AGAIN and sits in my seat. "DUDE!" I exclaim, completely taken aback, and look over at (grand)mama. Laughing, she said, "Say excuse me."

Since living in NYC, I've encountered numerous children with a complete and utter lack of manners, but this is the first time I've ever felt like confronting the offending parent about it.

Touche, MTA, touche.

HA! I have PROOF! The MTA SUCKS

So, I was slacking off at work, reading consumerist, and came across an article about the NYC Subway system. That's right, the MTA. My arch nemesis. I live in close proximity to two trains: the 181st Street A train and the 181st Street 1/9 train. I much prefer the A train because a) it's express, b) it's closer than the 1/9. To get down to the tracks, however, you need to either take an escalator down six stories, or, when it's not working, which is more often the case, take the stairs. Alternately, you could take the 1/9, where you're forced to take these large-bathroom-sized elevators, jammed with about thirty people, down several stories deep into the underbelly of Washington Heights. These elevators are your only option. There are no stairs. Those elevators are slow, hot, and extremely claustrophobic. The broken-down escalators at the A are much preferable.

Now, for my proof of how the MTA is evil. I snagged the following snippet from the article on consumerist entitled "Pregnant? Ashtmatic? Don't like Rollercoasters? Stay Away From NYC Elevators and Escalators".

The worst offender is the 181st St station for the 1, 9 trains. As passengers familiar with the station know, you have to take giant elevators several stories underground to reach the subway lines, and they suffered over 100 breakdowns last year. The article highlights one breakdown where 15 people, including two women who began to suffer from asthma attacks, were trapped for 40 minutes last summer. The same elevator "had broken down five times in the eight days leading up to the event. Each time, mechanics came, made minor adjustments and put the machine back in service — only to have it break down again." After the 15 people were let out, the elevator was put back in service, only to break down again later that afternoon.

Ha ha! And ha, even. Take that, MTA! Proof! Proof that you're a whole mess 'o incompetent jackasses! You're not just out to get me, you're out to get everyone! With your fare hikes, and your sleeping booth workers, and your nasty, nasty perverts hiding on the trains.

The MTA hates awesome old ladies

So today, I decided to take the M98 bus home, because quite honestly, sometimes I just don't feel like being sardined into a boiling hot, stinky subway car. The M98 isn't much better, but at least it's outdoors, and it usually empties out before the long express run from 125th to 179th. But I digress...

There was this little old lady sitting in the back of the bus with her walker. She was in one of the handicapped seat, and it's up to the bus drivers to help these people on and off of the bus via a lift. The little old lady decides she wants off, and starts screaming, "Bus driva'! Bus driva'! I wanna git owf da bus!" in her little old bronx accent, bless her heart. The bus driver, being employed with the MTA, doesn't give a rat's ass, and doesn't come back to help her. Everyone starts yelling at him, until the back door opens. The little old lady stands up, screams "Ah, fuck you, too," to the driver, hefts her walker (which had to weigh as much as she did) aloft and clambers down the bus's back steps, which are higher and deeper than normal steps.

That little old lady was awesome.

Princess versus the MTA

All along, I've always considered my arch-nemesis to be a person. This morning, I realize that it's not a person, but the Metro Transit Authority of New York City.

Let me explain. Since moving to this ridiculous city in 2002, I've been accosted, frightened by, and followed by fellow passengers. I've been made to feel stupid by MTA employees. I've been made late, lost, sent to the wrong part of the city, all because of inaccurate signage in various subway stations or bus routes. Sure, sure, blame it all on my inattentiveness, but I'm convinced that the MTA could be much clearer in its instructions to passengers.

This morning, I was running about ten minutes late. It doesn't seem like that big of a time crunch, but if I leave my apartment at 7:30, I will get to work by 8:30. However, if I leave at 7:40, I will get there at 9. So the fact that I left at 7:50 today, dude, not cool.

I didn't get down to Columbus Circle until 8:35. Stupid subway didn't come for forever. As luck would have it, however, the M31 bus was there at 57th Street waiting for me. Yay. So I got on, procured a seat and took out my book. I vaguely registered that the driver was all of a sudden laying on his horn and we weren't moving. I didn't pay much attention, because this kind of crap happens all the time. I got lost in my book.

I emerged from my chapter 20 minutes later and looked out the window. We were still at Columbus Circle. What the hell? I thought. I realized the driver was still laying on his horn. I looked out the front window of the bus, and see this black SUV parked in the bus lane, and the bus was literally on his ass so close, we were stuck. Obviously, the driver was trying to intimidate the SUV into moving out of the bus lane, but to no avail. Five minutes later, a DOT worker comes up to the bus and pounds on the door. The driver opens it and the dude boards.

"What the hell are you doing?" the DOT worker yells. "There's no one in that car!"

We've been stuck behind an SUV, trying to get it to move out of the way, and there was no one in the driver's seat!

I look at my watch: 9:00. I was supposed to be at work right now. The ride from Columbus Circle to my hospital is a 30 minute ride with no traffic, so now I was going to be ridiculously late.

So thanks, MTA, for making my morning so exciting with your idiotic drivers and their idiotic antics. I hope that strike two years ago was well worth it.