Misadventures in Crazytown

I'm branching out!

2009-04-02T17:14:00.003-04:00

Here are my two latest illustrations. I call the first one "skele-boner." The second one doesn't have a title.

See, I can draw something other than balls.

Einstein, my love

2009-03-25T13:14:00.001-04:00

Meh, whatever. I still did better than mental_floss bloggers, and he's their mascot.

The Einstein Quiz

Score: 60% (6 out of 10)

Worst Company in America, 2009!

2009-03-23T14:05:00.004-04:00

That's right, ladies and gentleman, it's time, once again, for Consumerist's annual Worst Company in America contest. Below you see the bracket, along with my prediction of AIG for the win.

After last year's upset of Countrywide Home Loans over the ever infernal Comcast, will AIG have what it takes to beat out the competition, which includes Comcast, The Peanut Corp of America and United Healthcare?

WHO will claim this year's Golden Poo award?

Follow along with your own set here.

What now, bitches?

2009-03-18T09:57:00.003-04:00

I cannot get over how funny this is. Oh, the hilarity.

I love math.

From Fail.

Walmart: Friend or Foe?

2009-03-08T01:01:00.003-05:00

Greetings, all.

I just got back from grocery shopping at the super walmart upstate. Yes, it's obscenely late, but that's how I role. The bill came out to just over $300, which should last the BF and I about a month. Now, we haul our asses upstate once a month to do our grocery shopping, and our trip itself upstate totals at around $70, so BF and I got into a debate: would we save more money by doing our shopping in the city and applying the $70 trip money to our grocery budget?

Well, to answer my question, I went on Fresh Direct, which is how I like to do my grocery shopping in the city, since I've found their prices to be pretty much on par with the grocery stores, plus I can do my shopping in my underwear. Item by item, I went down our walmart list, and added each to the shopping cart. Then I clicked "Check Out". With tax and shipping (a reasonable $5), would you believe that my Fresh Direct bill came out to $498? Yes, that's right, I saved almost $200 by going to walmart.

So yes, walmart is an evil empire running mom and pop businesses to the ground, but dude, I'm poor, let me shop with the weirdos that come out in the middle on the night on Saturdays to do their grocery shopping. Where else can you buy a pork loin, a value package of hanes her way panties and car tires all at 1 am?

RIP, Doodlebeasts

2009-03-03T23:19:00.002-05:00

Once upon a time there was a blog called Doodlebeasts, where a doodler would doodle fabulous, whimsicle doodles to tickle the imagination. PrincessPi, being the crazyass she is, disappeared for a while, and failed to notice that Doodlebeasts has apparently moved on to greener pastures...

Doodlebeasts, I will miss you.

SWEET!!!

2009-03-02T13:15:00.003-05:00

When I was in college, ramen noodles were a large staple of my diet. I just couldn't afford anything else. Then one day, while eating said noodles, I was watching a documentary on the discovery channel about parasites, and these two scientists were poking around at a tapeworm in a large glass beaker. I looked at the tapeworm, looked down at my ramen...

It was a long time before I could eat noodles again.

2009-02-27T16:55:00.001-05:00

from xkcd.

The MTA strikes again

2009-02-17T15:26:00.000-05:00

So, it’s been a while since the MTA and I have fought, and apparently, they decided I was due for a good kick in the ass.

This morning, on the way to work, I left with ample time to take the train in. We were seeing patients, so I definitely didn’t want to be late. I begin descending the stairs into the subway, and run into a harried woman who shrieks at me “No A Train!” What do you mean, no A train? I wondered. I know it had been shut down over the weekend for maintenance, but it’s always back up on work days. How the hell was I supposed to get to work? The 1 train? Hells no. Too crowded. That left me with one option: the M98 bus, which is typically my preferred method of transit, but with buses you need to worry about traffic, something I don’t need on patient days.

The bus stop next to the subway station was getting mighty full, so I decided to hoof it to the bus stop one block up to beat the crowd. So I went, and stood, and stood, and stood some more, until a bus finally showed, naturally completely full. I elbowed my way on, and the bus driver closes the door, looks around and says (I kid you not) “do you guys ride this bus regularly, ‘cause I ain’t never done this route before and no one gave me directions.” Are you shitting me? He then goes on to get us stuck behind a Short Line bus for ten minutes, gets on the FDR which is CLEAR OF TRAFFIC BUT STILL HE GOES 25 MPH! WTF?!?! I’m usually a pretty quiet person, but even I yelled out, “Homey, you can keep up with traffic or we’ll never get where we’re going.”

Needless to say, I got to work almost a half hour late.

Shit. MTA:527, Vanessa :0

You MUST watch this

2009-02-15T02:55:00.002-05:00

I don't care if you're not a physics geek, I don't care if you care nothing for math. Watch this lecture by Clifford Stoll. Yes, he's frickin' crazy, but he's also frickin' brilliant. Even if you don't learn anything (you will), he's immensely entertaining.

Thanks, Neatorama.

I think my stuffed animals have feelings

2009-02-13T17:21:00.000-05:00

from Neatorama

Reese's YES. Selmonella NO.

2009-02-13T15:48:00.003-05:00

Reese's Peanut Butter Cups are my favorite candy, but I was worried they might be tainted due to the massive peanut butter product recall. But alas, I fear no more! The fda has a widget to help you search your favorite foods to see if they've been recalled.

FDA Product Recall List

This gave me some pause...

2009-02-13T10:50:00.002-05:00

So, it seemed like, in preparation for the upcoming Friday the 13th, all the crazies in NYC were out in full force yesterday. My therapist switched my medication from Remeron to Zoloft, and I went to the pharmacy to fill it, right? Well, my doctor had said I should take the medication in the morning, but the bottle it came in said may cause drowsiness, so I asked the pharmacist about it, because I can't take sleepy medicine in the morning, you know? So the pharmacist comes over, unshaven, ill-fitting lab coat, and says, "Yeah, I'm on it and it makes me really sleepy," and I'm thinking holy crap, this man dispenses my medication? And then I got on the bus to go to the subway, and this older woman gets on and she's wearing a knit hat and has a fur boa tied around her head like a birthday hat (under the chin) and she tried to pay her $2 fare with a $10 bill (bus only takes change or metrocards). And THEN, at the train station, this older gentleman, very dapper looking, in a navy, tailored, pin-stripe suit, was wearing a fluorescent blue bow tie and a cow boy hat.

It was an odd day. I'm glad today's Friday. I'm especially glad I don't have to work on monday.

How would a normal parent respond to this?

2009-02-13T10:46:00.002-05:00

I mean, good lord. Do ALL kids act like this? Maybe I should reexamine my desire to become a mother.

Hee hee

2009-02-12T13:36:00.002-05:00

I especially love how the hosts just sit down at their desks while the set collapses on the girl and pretend that everything is all right...

from Fail Blog.

Oh, to own a camera phone

2009-02-10T09:31:00.002-05:00

This morning, walking from the bus to work, I passed by Sotheby's. Outside was parked a large white Escalade. Its license plate said "GTAIV". Inside the car, and I kid you not, were two different types of clubs on the steering wheel.

A challenge to gamers, mayhaps?

This has been stuck in my head for DAYS

2009-02-06T09:57:00.001-05:00

"She should have died hereafter;
There would have been a time for such a word.
To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury
Signifying nothing."
— Macbeth (Act 5, Scene 5, lines 17-28)

Yay me, sticking to something for once

2009-02-05T15:19:00.003-05:00

Why is February 8 an important date?

1725: Catherine the Great becomes the Empress of Russia
1924: Gas chamber used for the first time in an American state prison
1926: Walt Disney Studios is formed
1942: Congress advises FDR that Americans of Japanese descent should be locked up en masse so they wouldn't oppose the US war effort
1969: Last edition of Saturday Evening Post, which used to carry Norman Rockwell covers.
1969: First test flight of the Boeing 747 Jumbo jet
1973: Senate names seven members to investigate Watergate scandal
1974: The US spacestation, Skylab, crashes back to Earth, breaking up in the atmosphere

Mmm. important, right? Well, there's one more thing to add to the list:

2008: PrincessPi started her blog, http://misadventuresincrazytown.blogspot.com

And yes, while this may not be a big dead to most people, to me, someone who RARELY, if eve,r, sticks to something like this for more than a week, actually getting to the point where I get to have a blogaversary is a big freaking deal. So stop rolling your eyes and let me feel proud of myself.

Doodle, Updated

2009-02-05T11:04:00.001-05:00

I'm just pleased with this one becuase it's the best face I've done entirely without a model. Fabric, too. I know it's not perfect, but still, I'm proud of myself.

Further Mathy Goodness

2009-02-05T10:07:00.002-05:00

Honestly, I've not been on speaking terms with Neatorama lately, because clicking on a link from their site downloaded a NASTY virus to my laptop at home, which I still haven't been able to purge, despite my numerous antivirus programs installed there. However, with the addition of this shirt to their online store, they're starting to curry a bit more favor in my opinion...but just a bit.

Where is Where Is Bob? UPDATE

2009-02-02T11:34:00.001-05:00

A few days ago, I posted about a blog that I've loved gone missing. I had also emailed the author of the blog, asking where, oh where had she gone? Here is her response which I received this morning:

Thank you! There will be more, I promise!

On Thu, Jan 29, 2009 at 11:31 PM, Vanessa XXXX <vad2003@XXXX> wrote:

Where is Where is Bob? I miss you.
Sincerely,
PrincessPi
Loyal Reader

Monday Morning Doodle

2009-02-02T09:20:00.000-05:00

AAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA

2009-02-02T00:21:00.001-05:00

Thanks EVER so much to cracked for posting this.

Mmm...bacony goodness

2009-02-01T23:49:00.003-05:00

Craftastrophe, the craft blog of all things craptastic, apparently hit up etsy for all things wonderful and bacony. From bacon wallets to bacon soap, satisfy your salted-porky needs with this particular one-stop shop.

Stop! Geeky time...

2009-01-31T16:26:00.002-05:00

I'm always on the lookout for new ways to geekify my home. Here are three versions of math clocks. The first one, I actually already at one point owned...I'd made my own version back in college, but it got broken during one of my many moves.

Both the clock above (the radian clock) and the clock below (the pi clock) can be found here for $14.00 each.

This clock, my favorite one, was available here, but it sold out on Thursday this past week.

So cute I wanna pee...

2009-01-30T01:07:00.005-05:00

I love small animals. I think they're the bee's knees. Today, on Neatorama, I was introduced to the pygmy marmoset. How much do you wanna bet there's some remote village out there where people eat these little darlings?

I mean, holy crap on a cracker, how CUTE are they? Hey, BF!! These! These are what I want for Valentine's Day.

Also eensy-weensy is this snake, the world's smallest, found in Barbados.
And these...other animals. Teeny tiny, right?

And this lizard, also the world's smallest.

Honestly, my personal opinion is for minute mammals, but the cold-blooded pygmies are adorable, too, in their own, scaly way.

Where is Where is Bob?

2009-01-29T23:22:00.002-05:00

Dear Where is Bob?,

Where have you been, Where is Bob?? You were the funniest blog out there. I checked your RSS feed every single day to see what Bob has been up to in Where is Bob? world. But I'm starting to feel neglected. You haven't posted since late October. And yes, while I understand that you work in an office (or so you claim), your last post was subtitled (Part I) so I can only ASSUME you had a part 2 in the works. Am I wrong, Where is Bob?? I know you've been lurking. I left a similar message on your comment thread, and saw that it had been deleted a week later. Why have you forsaken me? Or us, your loyal readers. I don't want to cancel my RSS feed, because I'm afraid if I do, that's when you'll start writing again, and bringing tales of hilarity to office workers worldwide, and I'll be left out because I'd given up on you, Where is Bob?. I hope, from the cockles of my heart, that it doesn't come to that, Where is Bob?.

Please, please, Where is Bob?, please come back to us.

Unrequitedly,
PrincessPi

Oh, you witty vandals

2009-01-29T23:20:00.003-05:00

Cary over at List of the Day posted some funny-ass graffiti (or funny ass-graffiti, if it suits you). My favorite is the stop sign.

Yay! Presents!

2009-01-26T21:13:00.004-05:00

Today when I got home, there was a package waiting at the door from me. It was from my sister Carrie out in Portland. These are the Chronicles of Opening The Package from Carrie.

Here's me when I saw the package. I was very excited.

The first treat inside is a guide to Portland, Oregon. She's obviously trying to entice me out there with promises of a "Wax On Spa", whose motto is "Save a tree. Eat a Beaver", which is wrong on so many different levels, I can't even begin to describe, but enticing nonetheless.

Here are pics of Carrie and her dashing ladyfriend Davina. Do you see the flan? Who doesn't love flan? I certainly love me some flan.

Here's Carrie and I in Chinatown with our other sister, Darcy. We were checking out these sandles with wooden nubbies all over the soles. Tres chic, non?

And, obviously, Carrie knows the keys to my heart: bacon and chocolate. So what could be better than bacon-flavored chocolate?

Here is some dark chocolate from Mexico. I think chocolate is best enjoyed dark. The darker the better, I say. I can't stand that white chocolate shit. It's not even chocolate, it's just coco butter. Ew.

I can't decide whether I should eat this chocolate or put it on a shelf. It's handmade, and looks like it's been dusted with gold leaf. The back says: "Carnassier: Maple caramelized smoked bacon, in bittersweet chocolate, sweet smoky depth from the bacon, earthy warmth from hand harvested maple syrup." YUUUUUUMMMMMMMM.

And she sent me two, TWO, of these Mo's Bacon Bars. Applewood smoked bacon, alderwood smoked salt and deep milk chocolate. I fully intend to be in a bacon-chocolate induced coma this coming weekend. If you call and I don't answer, be not alarmed, for the bacon has ravished me.

And finally, here are some really cute cards, made by artist Jennifer Utley. How cute are these? I knew my toys did weird things while I wasn't looking.

Sigh. There's nothing better than getting a lurve package in the mail. That was an extremely satisfying end to my day. Thanks Carrie! You're the bestest! I hope I can come to Portland soon and eat some beaver so I can save some trees. And do other stuff, like pick mushrooms in the forest.

Monday Earworm

2009-01-26T21:12:00.000-05:00

It's SCANDAL!

2009-01-26T09:41:00.003-05:00

Now, there's nothing I love more than a humorous mathematics t-shirt, like this one, from Snorg Tees. Get real (tee hee).
Anyhoo, I am a subscriber to Mental_Floss's broadcast email, and they recently sent out a little blurb about their recent t-shirt contest, where people could send in suggestions for new t-shirts. They made a big deal about how people shouldn't sent in suggestions such as "they have this t-shirt over at snorg tees that would be PERFECT for mental_floss" and Mental_Floss is all, "uh, no, that wouldn't be legal" and all.

Then, they unveiled their new t-shirts. This is one of them:
Which, believe me, is kinda funny, except for the fact that that's the quadratic formula, NOT a derivative, unless they're referring to derivations of formulae, which I don't believe they are. And then...AND THEN...I see this on snorg tees this morning:
which, in my opinion, is much more accurate than Mental-Floss's version. Don't get me wrong, I love me some Mental-Floss, but really Mental_Floss, who's calling the i imaginary in this one, huh?

The laws of attraction

2009-01-25T04:29:00.001-05:00

Magnetic Attraction

Score: 80% (8 out of 10)

Saturday Night Craving

2009-01-24T22:01:00.000-05:00

Tomatoes and garlic

2009-01-22T17:16:00.002-05:00

About a week and a half ago, I was prepping a bunch of garlic cloves for roasting when I noticed that many of them had started growing roots and had shoots pushing out. Instead of trimming them, I decided to plant them in a spare window box I had. I also had some rotten tomatoes in the fridge, and squeezed the tomato innards into the dirt as well. About three days later, this is what I had:

And now, a week and a half later, this is what I have:

Lazy Days

2009-01-22T17:04:00.003-05:00

Last night, prior to a meetup I attend biweeky, I met one of the other meetupers at a restaurant for dinner. Home on 8th was supposed to be this great little chinese place, and I ordered the chili-salted calamari. Today, I have food poisoning. Yay! So I'm home, chained to my bathroom, and my animals are fully enjoying the company.

Here we see Chica watching tv. When there's fish, birds, or bugs on the screen, she attacks it. Otherwise, she sits about an inch away and watches.

Here's Coconut chilling on a philadendron vine. He's pretending to be a leaf, while screaming "Pretty Bird!", "Hey Coconuuuuuuut" and "AAAAAAHHHHHH".

And here we see Baby, completely passed out on the couch.

Wouldn't it be nice to have this life?

Tuesday Afternoon Pet Peeve

2009-01-20T15:05:00.002-05:00

People who want to talk about something private in front of you, but don't want you to overhear, so instead of finding themselves somewhere ELSE to talk, they just speak in another language right in front of your desk.

DUDE! That's RUDE. Didn't your mama teach you anything?

Polar opposites

2009-01-18T00:18:00.002-05:00

In earlier posts, I spoke of polymer clay artists whom I greatly admire. This artist, however, is not one of them. Thanks to Craftastrophe for pointing me towards this...piece.
From Craftastrophe about this piece:

Can I just say that her pouty pee-pee sucker lips got me a little freaked out.

And her hair? What is with the hair? Are those seams from her grown out weave?

I especially like that the resin in which the mermaid is swimming has dripped over the side of the frame. Nothing like a messy mermaid, eh?

Now, don't get me wrong. I post my own artwork on the internet, and I think it would probably hurt my feelings if someone said mean stuff about it, but I would never describe my own artwork thusly: "A beautiful orange and teal green mermaid drifts lazily through shallow waters. A singular gold fish follows her, hoping to discover some secret treasures…"

More amazing sculptures

2009-01-17T00:45:00.003-05:00

These are a couple other artists I watch on ebay. Not that I ever buy any of their stuff, 'cause I'm broke and all, but I like to see what some people are capable of.
This piece is a water fairy by Fairies and Dreams. If you click on the pic, you can see how the fake water splashes up and beads on her legs.
And this one is by Dea Venustus. I love this piece. Even if you click on this pic, you can't see how beautifully sculpted the face is.

I covet talent like this. I can only hope that I'm as good at what I do as they are at what they do. Yes, I can draw a mean testicle, but would people buy it on ebay?

Friday Afternoon Motto (or, Motto Of The Week)

2009-01-16T16:50:00.001-05:00

Give Credit Where Credit's Due.

I wish I were this talented

2009-01-16T16:19:00.003-05:00

These are amazing sculptures made of polymer clay by artist Nicole West. Polymer clay is actually manipulatable plastic that can be "fired" or cured in a toaster oven. Her pieces are usually 12 - 16 inches in height and are hand crafted without the use of molds. I am always so incredibly impressed by the amount of intricate detail she puts into each piece. The hair is usually tibetin lamb's wool, which is really soft.

These pieces are, in the order they've been posted, "Frost Queen", "Candy Girl" and "Titania, Harvest Queen". She sells them on ebay, but you've got to be willing to shell out some serious cash for them; they usually go for around a grand apiece.

Flashback

2009-01-16T11:19:00.002-05:00

Last night, for absolutely no reason, a poem that I had memorized in high school came back to me. I remember being fascinated by the contradictions in the poem. I thought I'd share.

Early one morning
In the middle of the night
Two dead boys
Got up to fight
Back to back
They faced each other
Pulled their swords
And shot each other
A deaf policeman
Heard the noise
And came and rescued
Those two dead boys

Hey, man, to a fifteen year old, that poem is AWESOME.

Just because I know vocabulary...

2009-01-15T13:22:00.002-05:00

...doesn't mean I know how to cook.

Mental_Floss had a quiz today on cooking techniques. I got 100%. Because I am an awesome genius, duh. Click on the link below to try it for yourself.

Name that Cooking Technique

Score: 100% (10 out of 10)

Repetition without Definition

2009-01-13T21:43:00.002-05:00

I keep talking about this top 100 English Language books of the 20th century. In case anyone's curious, here it is (and by the way, my friends keep asking. It comes from RANDOM HOUSE):

*I bolded the ones I've read, and honestly, it's kind of embarrassing, the low number of the ones I've read, and the majority of those I read in high school English class. I put a * next to the ones I read on my own. Not that it matters.

1. (1922) Ulysses James Joyce
2. (1925) The Great Gatsby F. Scott Fitzgerald
3. (1916) A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man James Joyce
4. (1955) Lolita Vladimir Nabokov
5. (1932) Brave New World Aldous Huxley
6. (1929) The Sound and the Fury William Faulkner
7. (1961) Catch-22 Joseph Heller
8. (1940) Darkness at Noon Arthur Koestler
9. (1913) Sons and Lovers D. H. Lawrence
10. (1939) The Grapes of Wrath John Steinbeck
11. (1947) Under the Volcano Malcolm Lowry
12. (1903) The Way of All Flesh Samuel Butler
13. (1949) Nineteen Eighty-Four George Orwell *
14. (1934) I, Claudius Robert Graves
15. (1927) To the Lighthouse Virginia Woolf
16. (1925) An American Tragedy Theodore Dreiser
17. (1940) The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter Carson McCullers
18. (1969) Slaughterhouse-Five Kurt Vonnegut
19. (1952) Invisible Man Ralph Ellison
20. (1940) Native Son Richard Wright
21. (1959) Henderson the Rain King Saul Bellow
22. (1934) Appointment in Samarra John O'Hara
23. (1938) U.S.A. (trilogy) John Dos Passos
24. (1919) Winesburg, Ohio Sherwood Anderson
25. (1924) A Passage to India E. M. Forster
26. (1902) The Wings of the Dove Henry James
27. (1903) The Ambassadors Henry James
28. (1934) Tender Is the Night F. Scott Fitzgerald
29. (1935) Studs Lonigan (trilogy) James T. Farrell
30. (1915) The Good Soldier Ford Madox Ford
31. (1945) Animal Farm George Orwell
32. (1904) The Golden Bowl Henry James
33. (1900) Sister Carrie Theodore Dreiser
34. (1934) A Handful of Dust Evelyn Waugh
35. (1930) As I Lay Dying William Faulkner
36. (1946) All the King's Men Robert Penn Warren
37. (1927) The Bridge of San Luis Rey Thornton Wilder
38. (1910) Howards End E. M. Forster
39. (1953) Go Tell It on the Mountain James Baldwin
40. (1948) The Heart of the Matter Graham Greene
41. (1954) Lord of the Flies William Golding
42. (1970) Deliverance James Dickey
43. (1951-1975) A Dance to the Music of Time (series) Anthony Powell
44. (1928) Point Counter Point Aldous Huxley
45. (1926) The Sun Also Rises Ernest Hemingway
46. (1907) The Secret Agent Joseph Conrad
47. (1904) Nostromo Joseph Conrad
48. (1915) The Rainbow D. H. Lawrence
49. (1920) Women in Love D. H. Lawrence
50. (1934) Tropic of Cancer Henry Miller
51. (1948) The Naked and the Dead Norman Mailer
52. (1969) Portnoy's Complaint Philip Roth
53. (1962) Pale Fire Vladimir Nabokov
54. (1932) Light in August William Faulkner
55. (1957) On the Road Jack Kerouac
56. (1930) The Maltese Falcon Dashiell Hammett
57. (1924-1928) Parade's End Ford Madox Ford
58. (1920) The Age of Innocence Edith Wharton
59. (1911) Zuleika Dobson Max Beerbohm
60. (1961) The Moviegoer Walker Percy
61. (1927) Death Comes for the Archbishop Willa Cather
62. (1951) From Here to Eternity James Jones
63. (1957) The Wapshot Chronicle John Cheever
64. (1951) The Catcher in the Rye J. D. Salinger *
65. (1962) A Clockwork Orange Anthony Burgess
66. (1915) Of Human Bondage W. Somerset Maugham
67. (1902) Heart of Darkness Joseph Conrad
68. (1920) Main Street Sinclair Lewis
69. (1905) The House of Mirth Edith Wharton
70. (1957-1960) The Alexandria Quartet Lawrence Durrell
71. (1929) A High Wind in Jamaica Richard Hughes
72. (1961) A House for Mr Biswas V. S. Naipaul
73. (1939) The Day of the Locust Nathanael West
74. (1929) A Farewell to Arms Ernest Hemingway
75. (1938) Scoop Evelyn Waugh
76. (1962) The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie Muriel Spark
77. (1939) Finnegans Wake James Joyce
78. (1901) Kim Rudyard Kipling
79. (1908) A Room with a View E. M. Forster
80. (1945) Brideshead Revisited Evelyn Waugh
81. (1953) The Adventures of Augie March Saul Bellow
82. (1971) Angle of Repose Wallace Stegner
83. (1979) A Bend in the River V. S. Naipaul
84. (1938) The Death of the Heart Elizabeth Bowen
85. (1900) Lord Jim Joseph Conrad
86. (1975) Ragtime E. L. Doctorow
87. (1908) The Old Wives' Tale Arnold Bennett
88. (1903) The Call of the Wild Jack London
89. (1945) Loving Henry Green
90. (1980) Midnight's Children Salman Rushdie
91. (1932) Tobacco Road Erskine Caldwell
92. (1983) Ironweed William Kennedy
93. (1965) The Magus John Fowles
94. (1966) Wide Sargasso Sea Jean Rhys
95. (1954) Under the Net Iris Murdoch
96. (1979) Sophie's Choice William Styron
97. (1949) The Sheltering Sky Paul Bowles
98. (1934) The Postman Always Rings Twice James M. Cain
99. (1955) The Ginger Man J. P. Donleavy
100. (1918) The Magnificent Ambersons Booth Tarkington

Boy. I'm feeling rather unintelligent right now. I must rectify that.

Disappointed? Well...

2009-01-13T21:28:00.005-05:00

As I mentioned in a previous post, reading books off of Time's 100 best English Language books is one of my New Years resolutions. The Catcher in the Rye is number 64 or 65, I don't remember which. What were my preconceptions going in? I don't know. Something shocking, certainly. For some reason, murder, probably because the only references to the book I'd heard before were in regards to a serial killer. Was I shocked? No. Was there murder? No. Was there suspense? No. Well, shit. It's about a pricky little douche who's just been expelled, yet again, from a prep school. I've since learned its controversy is in the use of the words"fuck" and "goddam", as well as a prostitution scene (in which no sex takes place), smoking, drinking, and rebellion. And I suppose for the time in which it was written, it was shocking, all things considered, but should it remain the center of such controversy? I think not. Sure, it's an all right book. I see why my high school English teachers taught Brave New World (also on the top 100 list) and Animal Farm (ditto), and not The Catcher in the Rye. Sure, I'm glad I read it.

Meh...whatever. It's not on my top 100 list.

Next up...Catch 22.

A lesson in tact

2009-01-13T14:10:00.002-05:00

Say what you want about me, but compared to some of the other secretaries I have to talk to on a regular basis, I'm a goddamn cupcake.

Me: I tried to email Dr. S, but the email bounced back.

Secretary: What's the email address you have?

Me: **@**.edu

Secretary: heh heh, WRONG!

Many varied shades of wrong

2009-01-08T09:39:00.002-05:00

So, I've been on this whole crafting binge lately, and

I've discovered this website that I absolutely love. It's called Craftastrophe, and shows crafts that have gone horribly wrong. This morning they posted about these great dolly-pedes, which are so creepy, but for some reason I can't stop staring at them.

Now I feel bad for my childhood longing to be a roustabout...

2009-01-07T09:59:00.003-05:00

These are the best and worst jobs, as determined by Sarah Needleman of the Wall Street Journal. And I use the term "jobs" lightly. Really? Being a philospher is the twelfth best job? And what exactly does that job entail? Sitting around thinking about stuff? Who pays people for that?

My favorite entry, however, is #193: Roustabout. I just like the way that sounds: roustabout. Like someone whose job it is to be mischevous. Yes, I know it's a deckhand (I looked it up), but I still think it's a cool job title.

I was also kind of surprised that Lumberjack did so poorly, especially after Monty Python gave it such a glowing review.

Whatever. I was amused. It's a slow morning.

I resolve...

2009-01-06T16:16:00.001-05:00

Typically, I don’t do New Years resolutions, because I know myself, and why make resolutions when, if I’m honest with myself, I’m not going to keep. Well, I’ve been making a lot of changes in my life. I’ve well into DBT therapy, I’m taking better care of myself, and I figured if I can do all of that, why can’t I keep some resolutions this year? I’d just make resolutions I know I can keep, right?

Well, here’s what I’ve come up with so far:

Go to the gym at least thrice weekly
Read at least five books from the Top 100 English Language Books list
Answer emails in a timely manner
Finish at least two projects per month
Start an idea book
Catalogue and categorize my library

I think that’s it for now. Let’s see how long I can keep it up.

My favoritest things

2008-12-30T00:24:00.002-05:00

For Christmas last year, my mom had gotten me this shadow box. Since I had to fly back to the city, I didn't take it with me because anything glass I take on a plane always ends up broken. This year, since we drove up to Rochester, I was able to bring it back to the city with me. Tonight, I filled it with all of my favorite things from childhood. It made me really miss my mom.

My two favorite books, There's a Monster at the End of This Book and The Velveteen Rabbit. A picture of my mom holding me when I was an infant, a little ceramic mermaid that was hers and she gave to me when I was a kid, and a little wooden elephant, ditto. The centerpiece, however, is a stuffed animal named Pixie. Probably the only thing I have left over from my father (it was his when he was a boy, I'm told), with whom I rarely, if ever, speak, Pixie sat on my shelf until one day, I looked at him, picked him up, and didn't put him down again. He's gone everywhere with me: high school sleepovers, college, the Bronx, and now Manhattan. You can see all the stitching where his fabric wore through and my mom had to sew him back up, and you can see how squashed his nose is from me holding him against me. His bow tie is moments away from disintegrating. He used to be a color, but I cannot for the life of me remember which one. Now, he's in this box with my other favorite things, hanging on my bedroom wall, across from my bed so I can look up at him whenever I want. I might not be able to cuddle him anymore, but I think for his own health, that's not necessarily a bad thing.

After spending so many months making things for other people, it was nice to put something together for myself. It's a nice craft for women to do with their mothers after they've grown and moved away. because even though you're all growed up, you're still your mother's baby.

The deep dark hole into which I've disappeared

2008-12-29T01:34:00.005-05:00

Where, oh, where have I been? Well, the holidays (the gift-giving ones, at least) have come and gone, and being the broke lady that I am, decided to make the vast majority of my gifts. This year, that meant embroidering seed beads onto fabric. Hundreds. Thousands. My fingers hurt. I think I have carpel tunnel. But it's done. I thought I might share some of the finished products with you.

(This isn't one of them; it's our tree)

This is a tree of life I embroidered onto some microfibre ultrasuade. I did this for one of my coworkers.

This is a sock monkey ornament I did for my sister. Because I call her Monkey.

This is a monkey I made out of polymer clay for my sister. Also because I call her Monkey. It's about 1.5 inches tall.

This is a Mario ornament. I didn't do it for anyone in particular. I was just testing my embroidery skills out. It was the first time I'd done anything in beads, and didn't want to waste time and energy attempting it if I wasn't any good.

This is an evil eye ornament I did for my step father. Unfortunately, you can't really see how vivid the colors of the beads actually are in this photo.

This is an art deco lady I did for another of my coworkers. It took about 25 hours. After I took this picture, I restretched the fabric so it's not so wrinkly. (you can click on the pic for a closer view)

This is a bird I did for my mom. It was supposed to be an ornament, but turned out too large, so I mounted it in a shadow box. It came out nice.

And finally, this is a bacon ornament. Because I lurve bacon.

So, that's it. Nothing special. Just wanted to share it with you.

Happy Holidays!!!

Oh, bacon...

2008-12-19T12:33:00.002-05:00

What do you even say about bacon that's been woven together like a basket, schmeared with cheese and then rolled?

I'm frightened, and horribly intrigued.

This made me smile on my cranky day

2008-12-17T14:29:00.000-05:00

23 Flavors of Crazy, #5

2008-12-17T10:49:00.002-05:00

Vanessa's Rules for Bosses

2008-12-17T09:13:00.002-05:00

Dude, if it's the holidays, and clients or patients send a gift basket to the office labeled "To Boss and STAFF", that does NOT mean to Boss and Boss's Girlfriend, and then to the staff if the boss's girlfriend doesn't find anything in the basket she wants.

That is NOT holiday spirit.

Literature Review

2008-12-15T09:45:00.003-05:00

What can I say other than I love this book? I loved it so much. It's about a genius who's got some insight into this massive math problem, who decides to run away from school back to his home in a little hick village to work at his family's morgue/funeral home/furniture store. Although the way the book is written is a bit confusing (going forwards and back in time over and over again), the characters are so frickin' well written, the main character's got flaws, and is real. You think that for someone so smart, he's a fricking idiot, but then you think, yeah, well, he's still a kid.

Anyways, if you're looking for a good read, something not entirely challenging, but definitely satisfying (although the ending left a bit to be desired)...

Yeah, good book, man.

This tickled my disillusioned funny bone

2008-12-15T09:37:00.002-05:00

For those of you who have recently become somewhat disenchanted by the whole Twilight drama, what with the books and the movies and Stephanie Meyer's adolescent whining, Cracked posted this awesome abridged version of the Twilight script.

I laughed.

Hilarious

2008-12-14T04:06:00.001-05:00

This is a cartoon about a dude and his cat. I have a feeling that if you don't have cats, you won't get it. I laughed; I've got 4 of the.

I covet this

2008-12-10T17:14:00.003-05:00

This is someone's personal library. This dude has so much cool stuff, I sniffle just thinking about the fact that I will never have anything near its magnificence. Link

Mmm...Peanut Butter

2008-12-10T16:06:00.005-05:00

Various sites around the internet are taking as evidence the use of peanut butter as an ingrediant at gourmet restaurants as proof of recession. I wholey disagree. Who doesn't love peanut butter? (Aside from those people with that irrational phobia of getting peanut butter stuck to the roof of their mouths...or people with peanut allergies...or people who don't really like nuts...)

Bon Appetit came up with some fabulous desserts AND THEIR RECIPES made with peanut butter.

And Cheastypants, since I know you won't be having confections like this for a few weeks more, and because I know how much you lurve when I post about food you can't have, I thought maybe you could try making these down there. Barring that, you could just look at the yummy, yummy pictures.

These are peanut butter and chocolate cheesecake swirl brownies. The recipe is here.

This Peanut Butter Honey Tart with Ganache Glaze (drool) combines three of my all-time favorite ingrediants: peanut butter, chocolate (ganache, no less) and honey. Sweet mother, I want to eat this.

I'm sorry

2008-12-10T09:27:00.006-05:00

To those few people who read my blog, I apologize for having been absent recently. I don't plan on disappearing compeltely.

In my absence, I've been working out some of my issues artistically; beading and drawing mainly. I'm working on a series of doodles on borderline personality disorder called 23 Flavors of Crazy. This piece is #2.
I will at some point be posting some of my beadwork. It's much more cheerful, I promise. To those of you who haven't abandoned me, thank you. I promise I've been thinking about you, but just haven't been able to bring myself to visit. I'm hoping to change that very soon.

Miss you.

I HAVE to have this

2008-12-03T09:55:00.003-05:00

I know I haven't been posting very often lately, and I do apologize. I've been ill, and when I haven't been ill, I've been busy making presents for Christmas. I'll be back to my regularly scheduled slacking soon enough, I promise.

In the meantime, I thought I'd share with you a fantanbulous t-shirt I found over at the xkcd online store. I must have it. I don't think anyone quite grasps the necessitude of my owning this shirt.

Just a little hint for my loved ones for the upcoming holidays. (ahem)

Like you're sticking your head up a dude's ass

2008-11-25T18:56:00.001-05:00

The latest in the medical illustration series on which I am working. I think I'm done. I hope I'm done. I'm so sick of looking at male reproductive organs.

Size Matters

2008-11-24T18:06:00.001-05:00

I did much better than I thought I would, especially considering that I've never been to nor heard of many of these places.

A Venti Quiz on Quirky Sizes

Score: 80% (8 out of 10)

Holy crap on a cracker

2008-11-21T09:54:00.002-05:00

Nicely done, CGUnit. A unique artist that actually made me stop and say "holy shit". This here is Candice Tripp, and she's frickin' amazing.

Thursday Afternon Cravings

2008-11-20T16:43:00.003-05:00

You know, I don't ALWAYS crave bacon. Ok, yes I do, but I don't ONLY crave bacon. Here are four more foods that I really, really, really love.

Proscuitto and buffalo mozzarella. With the meat wrapped around the cheese. SOOOO good.

Pillsbury toaster strudels. The strawberry kind. With the icing on top. My favorite holiday breakfast.

Sloppy Joes. Mmm...I love me some sloppy joes.

And finally, waffles with butter and maple syrup. And I mean real maple syrup, not that ridiculous fake crap.

My stomach is growling so loud right now.

A is for acalculus colocystitis

2008-11-20T15:15:00.002-05:00

I've been doing some DBT (dialectic-behavioral therapy) for my borderline personality disorder, and in particular trying a distracting technique very much like A is for apple, B is for banana, but something that actually takes some brain power.

It's the ABC's of hypochondria:

A is for Acalculus Colocystitis
B is for Balanitis
C is for Crypto-orchadism
D is for Diabetes
E is for Elephantiasis
F is for Fibroids
G is for gastroesophageal reflux disease
H is for hemophilia
I is for ischemia
J is for jaundice
K is for kidney stones
L is for lyme disease
M is for menopause
N is for necrotizing fasciitis
O is for orchalgia
P is for Peyronie's Disease
Q is for Quinquaud's decalvans folliculitis
R is for Rigormortis
S is for shingles
T is for Tardive Dyskenesia
U is for Urinary retention
V is for varicocele
W is for Wandering spleen
X is for Xeroderma pigmentosum
Y is for Yellow fever
Z is for zonular cataract

See, now wasn't that fun? The thing that was bothering me before no longer is. Yay!

Now you try.

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

2008-11-20T14:07:00.002-05:00

We're now one step closer to my nightmare being reality: a GINORMOUS, single-celled organism, that's right, a protozoa, Gromia sphaerica , has been discovered. Homeboy's the size of a grape. Soon enough. area rug-sized amoebas will be slithering over me in the nighttime to suck out my brains through my nostrils.

Ooh, does ooh need a hug?

2008-11-20T09:59:00.002-05:00

Go on. Click the picture. Go ahead. I'll wait. Read the laundry list of whining and bitching by one Michael Minelli, who was referred to as "Douche Nine" in the book "Hot Chicks with Douchebags". His feelings were SO hurt, that he's suing the author and the publisher of the book. The picture is an excerpt from the lawsuit.

Poor baby. Someone called him a douchebag. And instead of handling the situation with grace, laughing it off, playing off it, and probably making himself into the biggest player of all time (everyone knows chicks LOVE assholes), he's whining about it. Publically.

I cannot wait to see how this one plays out.

Snorg bork bork, borkety snork bork

2008-11-18T16:45:00.003-05:00

Debork Obama: Says the Swedish Chef, "Yom-yom-yommm, mit de chocolad. Bork, bork, bork!" By Sleeper Cell.

Sinks to fit two aspects of my life

2008-11-17T15:46:00.002-05:00

WebUrbanist did a great montage of interesting sinks today. Here are two that fit PERFECTLY into different aspects of my own life.
This sink is breath-taking in its Fibonacci-ishness. Although I think it would be kinda gross to have to scrape out the toothpaste globs every morning. But how MATHY is this, eh?

Then there's this one, that's supposed to imitate a river. Uh, sure it is. I've worked in Reproductive Medicine long enough to know that if it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then, dude, it's a sperm. Look at this thing. How is this a river? It's a frickin' sperm. Tell me it's not a sperm.

I want to talk my boss into installing the sperm sink in our bathroom. I think, next to our viagra light switch plate, we'll be the most awesome ball and dick doctors in the whole of NYC.

Yay, Penguin!

2008-11-17T13:59:00.004-05:00

Found this on Neatorama. A penguin outwits a pod of hungry orkas.

Update: Link should be working now.

Alternate: http://www.milinkito.com/1343/listo/

Monday morning bacon

2008-11-17T10:34:00.006-05:00

Browsing Etsy this morning. Found me some bacon products. Thought I'd share, because what says lovin' more than bacon?

This looks like chocolate, but it hides within its sweet interior bacony goodness. It contains:
Chocolate Covered Bacon: 8 pieces of super crispy, super bacony bacon, covered in your choice of milk or dark chocolate and very lightly sprinkled with sea salt

Bacon Caramels: 4 of our signature caramels, topped with a crisp piece of bacon and covered in your choice of milk or dark chocolate and a sprinkle of sea salt

Bourbon and Black Pepper Truffles: 2 dark chocolate truffles, spiked with Woodford Reserve(TM) bourbon and freshly ground black pepper, covered in dark chocolate

This is a painting of bacon. Who doesn't want a painting of bacon? That you can gaze upon while eating bacon?
And finally, a felted scarf that looks creepily like bacon. Imagine it. It's a freezing cold day outside, and your belly is stuffed full of pan-fried, salty, porky goodness. You wrap a faux piece of that salty, porky goodness around your neck, and lo! the scent of your breakfast lingers, to tantalize you throughout the day.

See...a bacon a day keeps gloominess at bay.

Or something like that.

Mental_Floss is AWESOME

2008-11-13T10:25:00.003-05:00

Look at this shirt from Mental_Floss!!!!!!! It's so AWESOME!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Math joke that sent my eye a-twitchin'

2008-11-12T16:00:00.002-05:00

I love Neatorama. They went and visited the website where I'd gotten those math jokes the other day, and posted their favorite. Now, I heart math jokes, but this one was painful even to me.

There were three medieval kingdoms on the shores of a lake. There was an island in the middle of the lake, over which the kingdoms had been fighting for years. Finally, the three kings decided that they would send their knights out to do battle, and the winner would take the island.

The night before the battle, the knights and their squires pitched camp and readied themselves for the fight. The first kingdom had 12 knights, and each knight had five squires, all of whom were busily polishing armor, brushing horses, and cooking food. The second kingdom had twenty knights, and each knight had 10 squires. Everyone at that camp was also busy preparing for battle. At the camp of the third kingdom, there was only one knight, with his squire. This squire took a large pot and hung it from a looped rope in a tall tree. He busied himself preparing the meal, while the knight polished his own armor.

When the hour of the battle came, the three kingdoms sent their squires out to fight (this was too trivial a matter for the knights to join in).

The battle raged, and when the dust had cleared, the only person left was the lone squire from the third kingdom, having defeated the squires from the other two kingdoms, thus proving that the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.

A New Toy (er...tool) for Hypochondriacs

2008-11-12T14:46:00.001-05:00

Google has a flu tracker. There you go, hypochondriacs! Now you have more evidenciary backing for self-diagnostics! Yay!

Yes, my dorkiness continues apace

2008-11-12T10:18:00.003-05:00

As a raging geek, it may be my responsibility to be enamored with Star Wars. Unfortunately, that is a subject in which I am severely lacking. To compensate, I love Star Trek. While I don't know the episodes by numbers, nor do I have the engineering schematics of the USS Starship Enterprise, I have seen every single episode of TNG.

To satisfy the Trekies out there, Thinkgeek is offering these badass Star Trek switchplates. I want them. I want them bad.

Etsy, gathering place for crafty geeks worldwide.

2008-11-11T13:50:00.007-05:00

So, I've spent some time on Etsy today, since I've been thinking about starting an Etsy shop. Here are some awesome handmade products I came across that I would absolutely love.

Here's a crocheted labrat. This artist also has frogs. We do a lot of rat dissection here, and I thought this was awesome.

In college, I did my final paper on Pi, and consequently became obsessed. I just thought this pi necklace was adorable.

As the Princess of Reproductive Medicine, who has, as of late, done a TON of pencil studies of the human testis for an upcoming anatomy book, I've become extremely well versed on the anatomy of the testicle. This gentleman's Etsy offering is a polymer clay ball in a jar. While it's really cool looking, it doesn't look all that accurate to me. I still want it, though. It would look badass on my desk, and also would kinda freak my patients out.

Besides being the Princess of Reproductive Medicine, I'm also the Princess of Math (yes I can be princess of more than one thing, thank you very much). This is a Fibonacci spiral (or golden ratio) bracelet. It's pretty. Also expensive. If I really decide I want it, I'll probably just end up making my own.

And finally, if and when I finally pop out a kid, she'll of course need to be a math geek as well. One of my favorite numbers (besides 52) is i, which is the square root of negative 1. Here's an i bib. Cute, no?

And there you have my favorite things on Etsy today.

Cool footage

2008-11-11T13:19:00.002-05:00

I never realized until I saw this video clip that I've never actually seen live footage of the thirties. I've seen stills, and I've seen movies, but never recordings of real people going about their business.

Two brothers were cleaning out their grandparent's house in Colorado when they came across some old 16mm film. They took it to the local tv station, but they couldn't do anything with it because of decay, so it was sent to the library of congress, who transferred it to video. And wouldn't you know, it's got actual film of DDay, a wedding, in color, from the 1930's, and mid-air dogfights, amongst other things.

Here's the video of the wedding, which for some reason, absolutely fascinates me. It's silent, but in color, and I just find it weird to think that my grandparents were this age during this time.

Anyways, I just thought it was cool.

More brilliance compliments of CGUnit

2008-11-10T14:06:00.003-05:00

CGUnit has done it again...thricely this time. Here are three more awesome artists, discovered via CGUnit.

This is a piece by artist Shawn Yu. It seems kind of Klimtesque to me...all right, it seems really Klimtesque to me, but I still like it.

This is art by a woman named Heidi Taillefer. Her work reminds me of Hindu goddesses, which I think may be the point.

This is art from Audrey Kawasaki. And yes, it looks like a lot of the other stuff on CGUnit, but something about this one is quiet, reserved, and not lewd like the others.

Anyways, I just really liked these three, and wanted to share.

Math Humor

2008-11-09T15:14:00.002-05:00

I love math jokes. I'm certain I'm alone here, but I came across a website with a bunch of them. Here are my favorites.

This one is a cute little play on proof by induction...

Theorem. A cat has nine tails.

Proof. No cat has eight tails. Since one cat has one more tail than no cat, it must have nine tails.

Q: What is non-orientable and lives in the ocean?
A: Möbius Dick...

HA! Get it?

Statistics Canada is hiring mathematicians. Three recent graduates are invited for an interview: one has a degree in pure mathematics, another one in applied math, and the third one obtained his B.Sc. in statistics.
All three are asked the same question: "What is one third plus two thirds?"
The pure mathematician: "It's one."
The applied mathematician takes out his pocket calculator, punches in the numbers, and replies: "It's 0.999999999."
The statistician: "What do you want it to be?"

Yeah, well, maybe you don't think it's funny, but I do.

Mmm...pretty

2008-11-08T23:07:00.004-05:00

Today, BF and I went to the gem and mineral show on the upper west side. Lots of assholes here. I was kinda surprised. When I went to the show in Museum Village, everyone was really laid back and friendly, but the people at this show were nasty. Not the kinda birthday I was looking for.

Anyhoo, I ended up purchasing this here Adamite specimen from the Ojuela Mine in Durango, Mexico. Isn't it pretty? You can't really see it in this photo, but it's crazy sparkly. Happy birthday to me.

I want one...

2008-11-07T14:02:00.001-05:00

And in the long list of inappropriate pets I want...

Best birthday ever

2008-11-07T10:16:00.003-05:00

Amongst other things, I got flowers. I love flowers.

Guaranteed to give my mother nightmares

2008-11-06T18:42:00.002-05:00

When I was a teenager, I went to the town carnival, actually won one of those toss a pingpong ball in a goldfish bowl games, and as a prize, got one of these here tree frogs. Had I thought ahead about this prize, I probably wouldn't have been so excited about winning one, because, see, tree frogs need live food.

So I brought my frog home, made him a nice tank, and named him Eeyore. And what did I feed Eeyore? Well, the petstore said I had two options. I could either feed him a) mealworms - and if I did, I'd have to cut off their heads first so they wouldn't eat their way out of Eeyore's stomach, or b) crickets. Not wanting nasty, jumping bugs running all over my house, I opted for the mealworms. Needless to say, that did't last very long. Cutting the heads off of worms with a steak knife was not something I enjoyed doing, so after about a week, I changed over to crickets.

Oh, the crickets. I kept them in a little cricket cage and fed them pieces of potato. And wouldn't you know they eventually escaped. Of course they escaped. And bred. And we could hear crickets chirping in our basement for MONTHS. And one day, in the kitchen, my mother was talking to my step father, and a massive, ginormous, mutant cricket made its way across the floor. Not wanting my step father to see, my mother nonchalantly walked over to it and smooshed it beneath her bare foot.

She hasn't forgiven me to this day.

You wanna see how creepy, crawly, and nasty crickets are? Watch them devour this head of lettuce, and then imagine them scampering all about your house.

40 000 Bugs Eat a Whole Head of Lettuce in One Hour - video powered by Metacafe

Invasion of the Yarn People

2008-11-05T19:07:00.004-05:00

When I was growing up, knitting was not something I did. It was something grandmothers did. And now that I'm an adult, knitting still is not something I do. It is, however, a decision I'm growing to regret.

Apparently, knitting has not just developed into a a younger person's hobby, it's actually become a trendy geek pasttime. How could I have missed out on this? It was all that time I spent making plush sperm.

Various yarn-artists have come up with some frickin' adorable knitted plushes, and I really wish I was in on some of this sweetness.

Stingray link

And this is apparently the new method of rebellion with the octogenarian set: guerrilla knitting.

And finally, what arts and crafts project would be complete without a knitted bloody dude with his cute yarn chainsaw?

At least I don't have to worry about anyone cornering the market on me in plush sperm dressed up as Donna Reed.

Ah, nostalgia

2008-11-05T13:49:00.003-05:00

You know, getting up to be my age (2 years until 30), what with my birthday being tomorrow, I long for the old days, the innocent days, when things were simple, and I had no cares in the world. Coincidentally, Mental_Floss's daily lunchtime quiz today was about cartoons from the '80's.

An 80's Cartoon Quiz

Score: 100% (15 out of 15)

Sigh...

Ooh, a box of rocks for my birthday!

2008-11-05T10:47:00.003-05:00

So, tomorrow's my birthday. It's not a date I typically look forward to, but this year, I have high hopes. Obama was elected, I've got a present waiting for me at home from ThinkGeek and, AND, this weekend is the New York City gem and mineral show, held by the Excalibur Mineral Corp.

Here are some specimens I'm hoping to get my hands on...

I'm so excited. I love me some rocks.

You're stranded on a desert island...

2008-11-05T10:08:00.004-05:00

Thanks to Dark Roasted Blend, I think I've discovered the place in which I'd like to retire. Socatra is an island in the Indian Ocean, off Somalia. It is the most remote place on earth, and has over 700 rare species of flaura and fauna.

I love plants, and I love isolation. Look how awesome this place is.

This is a Desert Rose (adenium obesium). It's pretty.

These are called dracena cinnibaris, or Dragon's Blood Tree. They're pretty.

Only 40,000 people live there, and the first roads were installed only two years ago. It's governed by Yemen.

Look! More pretty Dragon's Blood trees! (they make candles and resin out of it).

This place totally looks like paradise to me.

And so...I'm stranded (albeit willingly) on Socatra, and I can only bring ten things with me. What are they?

1. Sketchbook

2. Lots of Bic mechanical pencils

3. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

4. My laptop (with a wireless card)

5. my animals

6. shampoo

You know...I don't think I need any more than that. Yeah...I think that'll do me.

Okey dokey then...

2008-11-03T18:02:00.002-05:00

Don't you wish you worked with me?

You know...

2008-11-03T09:32:00.002-05:00

When I was a kid, thinking about what I wanted to be when I grew up, it never would have, in a million years, occurred to me that I'd end up here, where I talk to men about their nuts and spoo all day.

Nor would it have occurred to me that posing Halloween ornaments in naughty positions would be professionally acceptable.

Another fun physics game

2008-11-02T15:10:00.002-05:00

I love games that make me use my brain. In Splitter, you split the wood and tethers to make the smiley face go where you want. A great lesson on levers and slopes.

Saturday evening craving

2008-11-02T00:55:00.001-04:00

Sigh...

Fabulous Pumpkin artist

2008-11-02T00:39:00.003-04:00

Since everyone seems to have halloween on the brain, I came across this artist online.

Ray Villafane started out as a painter, morphed into a puppeteer and finally ended as a sculptor. He does amazing work with pumpkins, amongst other mediums.

I'm watching SNL right now...

2008-11-02T00:21:00.002-04:00

McCain's talking about his campaign strategies. He got booed. I laughed.

This is from a couple weeks ago...I wish Palin had had the balls to do this herself.

Speaking of tattoos

2008-11-01T14:26:00.001-04:00

I love me some e to the i pi.

I hate spiderman, but this tattoo is cool.

Hehe, I get it. Its limit is infinity as x approaches zero. Oh, you asymptote, you. Function humor.

I present to you: A tattooed douchebag (Part II)

2008-11-01T14:18:00.002-04:00

I have no words.

See Part I

Literature Review

2008-11-01T13:37:00.004-04:00

So, as I've mentioned before, I greatly enjoy the genres of utopia and dystopia, as well as post-apocalyptia (e.g. The Road, Anthem, 1984, etc). I came across The Age of the Conglomerates by Thomas Nevins at B&N the other day and decided to give it a try.

The prologue was eerie, as it almost perfectly describes the current financial crisis going on.

The story itself is about two generations of a family currently living in America, which is under the rule of a political party known as the Conglomerates. Paper money has become underground and back market, people can discard their trouble children and trade up for designer ones, and the elderly, or Coots, are all shipped out to the desert to die. This story follows George and Patsy Salter, two Coots being sent out to the west, Christine Salter (George and Patsy's granddaughter), a Conglomerate doctor in charge of genetic manipulation and designer babies, and Xamina "X" Salter (Christine's little sister) who has been discarded by her mother.

While the story itself was a little slow to start, after thirty pages or so, I was hooked. Political intrigue, dystopian society (1984 is heavily present here), and medical drama, I was excited to read what was happening to these people.

But then the story ended. Half way, I would say, through the climax. I turned the last page of the book and thought, what the hell? That was it? There literally was no denouement.

So, I guess I would say read this book if you're into this genre, but don't expect to be satisfied. It was a great book, but there was no ending. (very Hitchcockian, now that I think about it).

A case of mistaken identity?

2008-11-01T13:29:00.004-04:00

WebUrbanist, my favorite place for all things geeky-artsy-cool, did a nice post for halloween. Among the post, was this pic of supposedly "Star Wars" related pumpkins. Is it just me, or is the one on the bottom left Steve Irwin, Crocodile Hunter?

Happy Halloween

2008-10-31T15:41:00.001-04:00

You know, I'm not the biggest holiday person, but Neatorama linked to this site which is having a pumplin contest. I wanted to share my favorites.

Lego Lantern

And of course, because I love me some pi...

On the FREEDOM OF SPEECH...

2008-10-31T12:39:00.004-04:00

I really hate repeating myself, but it seems it's warranted, unfortunately.

Living in the United States affords us certain liberties, among which is the freedom of speech. It's a freedom I greatly appreciate and use to its fullest extent. I understand that not everyone will agree with what I am saying, and furthermore, I agree that some people may even think me not a good person.

Fine. Whatever.

I publish ALL comments because I believe in EVERYONE'S right to say what they want, and to have their opinions heard, even if I don't agree, or it hurts my feelings. I WOULD APPRECIATE THE SAME IN RETURN. Unfortunately, a certain gentleman believes that because I embrace this constitutional right of mine, I'm a nasty bitch whose parents don't love her.

Congratulations, Middle-Aged Man. I hope you're proud of yourself.

Among your comments to me, you've written:

...Now I understand why people think us New Yorkers are ASS-HOLES, and on top of it you are making Jewish people look bad too (my Nan would smack you if she could), but at least you don't have any visitors to care about what you have to say...

Your parents didn't love you did they?

and

I thought I would leave one more comment so you could get to ten for the first time. CONGRATS!

Even though I don't like posting anything insulting, I still did, didn't I? Because YOU, Mr. Middle Class, have the right to have your opinions heard, even in my teeny tiny little blog that no one but you apparently reads.

I didn't like someone else's blog. So what? You don't like my blog. So what? Walk away, home boy. No one invited you.

AND SO...IN CONCLUSION

From henceforth, on the topic of my apparently nasty bitchiness, unless someone has a constructive comment for me, I will publish no more comments.

Welcome to the Blogsphere, Mr. Middle Class, glad to know you're willing to give everyone an equal chance at having their opinions heard. So long, of course, as they don't insult your friends or you.