Thursday, April 2, 2009

I'm branching out!

Here are my two latest illustrations. I call the first one "skele-boner." The second one doesn't have a title.

See, I can draw something other than balls.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Einstein, my love

Meh, whatever. I still did better than mental_floss bloggers, and he's their mascot.

The Einstein Quiz

Score: 60% (6 out of 10)

Monday, March 23, 2009

Worst Company in America, 2009!

That's right, ladies and gentleman, it's time, once again, for Consumerist's annual Worst Company in America contest. Below you see the bracket, along with my prediction of AIG for the win.

After last year's upset of Countrywide Home Loans over the ever infernal Comcast, will AIG have what it takes to beat out the competition, which includes Comcast, The Peanut Corp of America and United Healthcare?

WHO will claim this year's Golden Poo award?

Follow along with your own set here.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

What now, bitches?

I cannot get over how funny this is. Oh, the hilarity.

I love math.

From Fail.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Walmart: Friend or Foe?

Greetings, all.

I just got back from grocery shopping at the super walmart upstate. Yes, it's obscenely late, but that's how I role. The bill came out to just over $300, which should last the BF and I about a month. Now, we haul our asses upstate once a month to do our grocery shopping, and our trip itself upstate totals at around $70, so BF and I got into a debate: would we save more money by doing our shopping in the city and applying the $70 trip money to our grocery budget?

Well, to answer my question, I went on Fresh Direct, which is how I like to do my grocery shopping in the city, since I've found their prices to be pretty much on par with the grocery stores, plus I can do my shopping in my underwear. Item by item, I went down our walmart list, and added each to the shopping cart. Then I clicked "Check Out". With tax and shipping (a reasonable $5), would you believe that my Fresh Direct bill came out to $498? Yes, that's right, I saved almost $200 by going to walmart.

So yes, walmart is an evil empire running mom and pop businesses to the ground, but dude, I'm poor, let me shop with the weirdos that come out in the middle on the night on Saturdays to do their grocery shopping. Where else can you buy a pork loin, a value package of hanes her way panties and car tires all at 1 am?

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

RIP, Doodlebeasts

Once upon a time there was a blog called Doodlebeasts, where a doodler would doodle fabulous, whimsicle doodles to tickle the imagination. PrincessPi, being the crazyass she is, disappeared for a while, and failed to notice that Doodlebeasts has apparently moved on to greener pastures...

Doodlebeasts, I will miss you.

Monday, March 2, 2009


What are your chances of getting a tapeworm?

When I was in college, ramen noodles were a large staple of my diet. I just couldn't afford anything else. Then one day, while eating said noodles, I was watching a documentary on the discovery channel about parasites, and these two scientists were poking around at a tapeworm in a large glass beaker. I looked at the tapeworm, looked down at my ramen...

It was a long time before I could eat noodles again.

Friday, February 27, 2009

from xkcd.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

The MTA strikes again

So, it’s been a while since the MTA and I have fought, and apparently, they decided I was due for a good kick in the ass.

This morning, on the way to work, I left with ample time to take the train in. We were seeing patients, so I definitely didn’t want to be late. I begin descending the stairs into the subway, and run into a harried woman who shrieks at me “No A Train!” What do you mean, no A train? I wondered. I know it had been shut down over the weekend for maintenance, but it’s always back up on work days. How the hell was I supposed to get to work? The 1 train? Hells no. Too crowded. That left me with one option: the M98 bus, which is typically my preferred method of transit, but with buses you need to worry about traffic, something I don’t need on patient days.

The bus stop next to the subway station was getting mighty full, so I decided to hoof it to the bus stop one block up to beat the crowd. So I went, and stood, and stood, and stood some more, until a bus finally showed, naturally completely full. I elbowed my way on, and the bus driver closes the door, looks around and says (I kid you not) “do you guys ride this bus regularly, ‘cause I ain’t never done this route before and no one gave me directions.” Are you shitting me? He then goes on to get us stuck behind a Short Line bus for ten minutes, gets on the FDR which is CLEAR OF TRAFFIC BUT STILL HE GOES 25 MPH! WTF?!?! I’m usually a pretty quiet person, but even I yelled out, “Homey, you can keep up with traffic or we’ll never get where we’re going.”

Needless to say, I got to work almost a half hour late.

Shit. MTA:527, Vanessa :0

Sunday, February 15, 2009

You MUST watch this

I don't care if you're not a physics geek, I don't care if you care nothing for math. Watch this lecture by Clifford Stoll. Yes, he's frickin' crazy, but he's also frickin' brilliant. Even if you don't learn anything (you will), he's immensely entertaining.

Thanks, Neatorama.

Friday, February 13, 2009

I think my stuffed animals have feelings

from Neatorama

Reese's YES. Selmonella NO.

Reese's Peanut Butter Cups are my favorite candy, but I was worried they might be tainted due to the massive peanut butter product recall. But alas, I fear no more! The fda has a widget to help you search your favorite foods to see if they've been recalled.

FDA Product Recall List

FDA Salmonella Typhimurium Outbreak 2009. Flash Player 9 is required.

This gave me some pause...

So, it seemed like, in preparation for the upcoming Friday the 13th, all the crazies in NYC were out in full force yesterday. My therapist switched my medication from Remeron to Zoloft, and I went to the pharmacy to fill it, right? Well, my doctor had said I should take the medication in the morning, but the bottle it came in said may cause drowsiness, so I asked the pharmacist about it, because I can't take sleepy medicine in the morning, you know? So the pharmacist comes over, unshaven, ill-fitting lab coat, and says, "Yeah, I'm on it and it makes me really sleepy," and I'm thinking holy crap, this man dispenses my medication? And then I got on the bus to go to the subway, and this older woman gets on and she's wearing a knit hat and has a fur boa tied around her head like a birthday hat (under the chin) and she tried to pay her $2 fare with a $10 bill (bus only takes change or metrocards). And THEN, at the train station, this older gentleman, very dapper looking, in a navy, tailored, pin-stripe suit, was wearing a fluorescent blue bow tie and a cow boy hat.

It was an odd day. I'm glad today's Friday. I'm especially glad I don't have to work on monday.

How would a normal parent respond to this?

I mean, good lord. Do ALL kids act like this? Maybe I should reexamine my desire to become a mother.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Hee hee

I especially love how the hosts just sit down at their desks while the set collapses on the girl and pretend that everything is all right...

from Fail Blog.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Oh, to own a camera phone

This morning, walking from the bus to work, I passed by Sotheby's. Outside was parked a large white Escalade. Its license plate said "GTAIV". Inside the car, and I kid you not, were two different types of clubs on the steering wheel.

A challenge to gamers, mayhaps?

Friday, February 6, 2009

This has been stuck in my head for DAYS

"She should have died hereafter;
There would have been a time for such a word.
To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury
Signifying nothing."
— Macbeth (Act 5, Scene 5, lines 17-28)

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Yay me, sticking to something for once

Why is February 8 an important date?

1725: Catherine the Great becomes the Empress of Russia
1924: Gas chamber used for the first time in an American state prison
1926: Walt Disney Studios is formed
1942: Congress advises FDR that Americans of Japanese descent should be locked up en masse so they wouldn't oppose the US war effort
1969: Last edition of Saturday Evening Post, which used to carry Norman Rockwell covers.
1969: First test flight of the Boeing 747 Jumbo jet
1973: Senate names seven members to investigate Watergate scandal
1974: The US spacestation, Skylab, crashes back to Earth, breaking up in the atmosphere

Mmm. important, right? Well, there's one more thing to add to the list:

2008: PrincessPi started her blog,

And yes, while this may not be a big dead to most people, to me, someone who RARELY, if eve,r, sticks to something like this for more than a week, actually getting to the point where I get to have a blogaversary is a big freaking deal. So stop rolling your eyes and let me feel proud of myself.

Doodle, Updated

I'm just pleased with this one becuase it's the best face I've done entirely without a model. Fabric, too. I know it's not perfect, but still, I'm proud of myself.

Further Mathy Goodness

Honestly, I've not been on speaking terms with Neatorama lately, because clicking on a link from their site downloaded a NASTY virus to my laptop at home, which I still haven't been able to purge, despite my numerous antivirus programs installed there. However, with the addition of this shirt to their online store, they're starting to curry a bit more favor in my opinion...but just a bit.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Where is Where Is Bob? UPDATE

A few days ago, I posted about a blog that I've loved gone missing. I had also emailed the author of the blog, asking where, oh where had she gone? Here is her response which I received this morning:

Thank you! There will be more, I promise!

On Thu, Jan 29, 2009 at 11:31 PM, Vanessa XXXX <vad2003@XXXX> wrote:

Where is Where is Bob? I miss you.
Loyal Reader

Monday Morning Doodle


Thanks EVER so much to cracked for posting this.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Mmm...bacony goodness

Craftastrophe, the craft blog of all things craptastic, apparently hit up etsy for all things wonderful and bacony. From bacon wallets to bacon soap, satisfy your salted-porky needs with this particular one-stop shop.

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Stop! Geeky time...

I'm always on the lookout for new ways to geekify my home. Here are three versions of math clocks. The first one, I actually already at one point owned...I'd made my own version back in college, but it got broken during one of my many moves.

Both the clock above (the radian clock) and the clock below (the pi clock) can be found here for $14.00 each.

This clock, my favorite one, was available here, but it sold out on Thursday this past week.

Friday, January 30, 2009

So cute I wanna pee...

I love small animals. I think they're the bee's knees. Today, on Neatorama, I was introduced to the pygmy marmoset. How much do you wanna bet there's some remote village out there where people eat these little darlings?

I mean, holy crap on a cracker, how CUTE are they? Hey, BF!! These! These are what I want for Valentine's Day.

Also eensy-weensy is this snake, the world's smallest, found in Barbados.
And these...other animals. Teeny tiny, right?

And this lizard, also the world's smallest.

Honestly, my personal opinion is for minute mammals, but the cold-blooded pygmies are adorable, too, in their own, scaly way.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Where is Where is Bob?

Dear Where is Bob?,

Where have you been, Where is Bob?? You were the funniest blog out there. I checked your RSS feed every single day to see what Bob has been up to in Where is Bob? world. But I'm starting to feel neglected. You haven't posted since late October. And yes, while I understand that you work in an office (or so you claim), your last post was subtitled (Part I) so I can only ASSUME you had a part 2 in the works. Am I wrong, Where is Bob?? I know you've been lurking. I left a similar message on your comment thread, and saw that it had been deleted a week later. Why have you forsaken me? Or us, your loyal readers. I don't want to cancel my RSS feed, because I'm afraid if I do, that's when you'll start writing again, and bringing tales of hilarity to office workers worldwide, and I'll be left out because I'd given up on you, Where is Bob?. I hope, from the cockles of my heart, that it doesn't come to that, Where is Bob?.

Please, please, Where is Bob?, please come back to us.


Oh, you witty vandals

Cary over at List of the Day posted some funny-ass graffiti (or funny ass-graffiti, if it suits you). My favorite is the stop sign.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Yay! Presents!

Today when I got home, there was a package waiting at the door from me. It was from my sister Carrie out in Portland. These are the Chronicles of Opening The Package from Carrie.

Here's me when I saw the package. I was very excited.

The first treat inside is a guide to Portland, Oregon. She's obviously trying to entice me out there with promises of a "Wax On Spa", whose motto is "Save a tree. Eat a Beaver", which is wrong on so many different levels, I can't even begin to describe, but enticing nonetheless.

Here are pics of Carrie and her dashing ladyfriend Davina. Do you see the flan? Who doesn't love flan? I certainly love me some flan.

Here's Carrie and I in Chinatown with our other sister, Darcy. We were checking out these sandles with wooden nubbies all over the soles. Tres chic, non?

And, obviously, Carrie knows the keys to my heart: bacon and chocolate. So what could be better than bacon-flavored chocolate?

Here is some dark chocolate from Mexico. I think chocolate is best enjoyed dark. The darker the better, I say. I can't stand that white chocolate shit. It's not even chocolate, it's just coco butter. Ew.

I can't decide whether I should eat this chocolate or put it on a shelf. It's handmade, and looks like it's been dusted with gold leaf. The back says: "Carnassier: Maple caramelized smoked bacon, in bittersweet chocolate, sweet smoky depth from the bacon, earthy warmth from hand harvested maple syrup." YUUUUUUMMMMMMMM.

And she sent me two, TWO, of these Mo's Bacon Bars. Applewood smoked bacon, alderwood smoked salt and deep milk chocolate. I fully intend to be in a bacon-chocolate induced coma this coming weekend. If you call and I don't answer, be not alarmed, for the bacon has ravished me.

And finally, here are some really cute cards, made by artist Jennifer Utley. How cute are these? I knew my toys did weird things while I wasn't looking.

Sigh. There's nothing better than getting a lurve package in the mail. That was an extremely satisfying end to my day. Thanks Carrie! You're the bestest! I hope I can come to Portland soon and eat some beaver so I can save some trees. And do other stuff, like pick mushrooms in the forest.

Monday Earworm


Now, there's nothing I love more than a humorous mathematics t-shirt, like this one, from Snorg Tees. Get real (tee hee).
Anyhoo, I am a subscriber to Mental_Floss's broadcast email, and they recently sent out a little blurb about their recent t-shirt contest, where people could send in suggestions for new t-shirts. They made a big deal about how people shouldn't sent in suggestions such as "they have this t-shirt over at snorg tees that would be PERFECT for mental_floss" and Mental_Floss is all, "uh, no, that wouldn't be legal" and all.

Then, they unveiled their new t-shirts. This is one of them:
Which, believe me, is kinda funny, except for the fact that that's the quadratic formula, NOT a derivative, unless they're referring to derivations of formulae, which I don't believe they are. And then...AND THEN...I see this on snorg tees this morning:
which, in my opinion, is much more accurate than Mental-Floss's version. Don't get me wrong, I love me some Mental-Floss, but really Mental_Floss, who's calling the i imaginary in this one, huh?

Sunday, January 25, 2009

The laws of attraction

Magnetic Attraction

Score: 80% (8 out of 10)

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Saturday Night Craving

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Tomatoes and garlic

About a week and a half ago, I was prepping a bunch of garlic cloves for roasting when I noticed that many of them had started growing roots and had shoots pushing out. Instead of trimming them, I decided to plant them in a spare window box I had. I also had some rotten tomatoes in the fridge, and squeezed the tomato innards into the dirt as well. About three days later, this is what I had:

And now, a week and a half later, this is what I have:

Lazy Days

Last night, prior to a meetup I attend biweeky, I met one of the other meetupers at a restaurant for dinner. Home on 8th was supposed to be this great little chinese place, and I ordered the chili-salted calamari. Today, I have food poisoning. Yay! So I'm home, chained to my bathroom, and my animals are fully enjoying the company.

Here we see Chica watching tv. When there's fish, birds, or bugs on the screen, she attacks it. Otherwise, she sits about an inch away and watches.

Here's Coconut chilling on a philadendron vine. He's pretending to be a leaf, while screaming "Pretty Bird!", "Hey Coconuuuuuuut" and "AAAAAAHHHHHH".

And here we see Baby, completely passed out on the couch.

Wouldn't it be nice to have this life?

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Tuesday Afternoon Pet Peeve

People who want to talk about something private in front of you, but don't want you to overhear, so instead of finding themselves somewhere ELSE to talk, they just speak in another language right in front of your desk.

DUDE! That's RUDE. Didn't your mama teach you anything?

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Polar opposites

In earlier posts, I spoke of polymer clay artists whom I greatly admire. This artist, however, is not one of them. Thanks to Craftastrophe for pointing me towards this...piece.
From Craftastrophe about this piece:

Can I just say that her pouty pee-pee sucker lips got me a little freaked out.

And her hair? What is with the hair? Are those seams from her grown out weave?

I especially like that the resin in which the mermaid is swimming has dripped over the side of the frame. Nothing like a messy mermaid, eh?

Now, don't get me wrong. I post my own artwork on the internet, and I think it would probably hurt my feelings if someone said mean stuff about it, but I would never describe my own artwork thusly: "A beautiful orange and teal green mermaid drifts lazily through shallow waters. A singular gold fish follows her, hoping to discover some secret treasures…"

Saturday, January 17, 2009

More amazing sculptures

These are a couple other artists I watch on ebay. Not that I ever buy any of their stuff, 'cause I'm broke and all, but I like to see what some people are capable of.
This piece is a water fairy by Fairies and Dreams. If you click on the pic, you can see how the fake water splashes up and beads on her legs.
And this one is by Dea Venustus. I love this piece. Even if you click on this pic, you can't see how beautifully sculpted the face is.

I covet talent like this. I can only hope that I'm as good at what I do as they are at what they do. Yes, I can draw a mean testicle, but would people buy it on ebay?

Friday, January 16, 2009

Friday Afternoon Motto (or, Motto Of The Week)

Give Credit Where Credit's Due.

I wish I were this talented

These are amazing sculptures made of polymer clay by artist Nicole West. Polymer clay is actually manipulatable plastic that can be "fired" or cured in a toaster oven. Her pieces are usually 12 - 16 inches in height and are hand crafted without the use of molds. I am always so incredibly impressed by the amount of intricate detail she puts into each piece. The hair is usually tibetin lamb's wool, which is really soft.

These pieces are, in the order they've been posted, "Frost Queen", "Candy Girl" and "Titania, Harvest Queen". She sells them on ebay, but you've got to be willing to shell out some serious cash for them; they usually go for around a grand apiece.