Thursday, May 15, 2008

We now have our own mascot. Hurray!

One of my guilty pleasures is reality TV. America's Next Top Model has been one of my favorites. Not so much, anymore, since Tyra has clearly been taken over by a megalomaniacal pod-person, and since Jay Manuel has changed the photo shoots from product-based to "how can we fuck up these models even more?"-based.

Anyhoo, the cast of bubble-heads this season hasn't been particularly interesting, but last night, they declared their winner: Whitney! The first plus-size girl to win America's Next Top Model. I'd be more excited having my size represented, but...

Of course, I'm using the term "plus-size" very loosely. Whitney would have no problem shopping in the normal-person section of your local Kohl's. Plus-sized for models, yes, but Tocarra more fit the bill of the typical American fatass. I'm sure I'll never bump into her in the dressing room of Lane Bryant.

Whitney, come on girl, you wanna be plus-sized, start scarfing down those twinkies! Your ass ain't nearly big enough, yet! You want the fatasses of the world to look up to you, you need to be a real-live fatass yourself.

Granted, I'm grateful that the Tyra-bot chose Whitney over that albino Anya, who, honestly, scares the hell out of me. Why, oh why, did they have to bleach her eyebrows?

Anyhoo, yay, Whitney! "Fatass" of the year!