Thursday, May 1, 2008

Goths in Mourning

No one understands their tortured souls. They listen to loud, sad music, write poetry about death, and drink absinthe. Unfortunately for them, an article recently published in the Journal of Agricultural and Food Chemistry proves that there are zero, that's right kids, zero hallucanigens in absinthe.

Absinthe, called Green Fairy back in the day, was consumed by various artists and authors.

But, what does this mean? It means that young goths can no longer escape their daily torment by entering worlds induced by absinthe. All they're really doing is getting drunk. That's right, goths aren't artistic because they're hallucinating, they're just drunk. Sorry. Guess you'll just have to pop a tab of LSD like the rest of us. Or maybe wait for your latent bipolar tendancies to come out. They say Van Gogh, besides being an absinthe hound (drunk), was also thought to be bipolar, as was Jackson Pollock.